14 Weeks Baby!!!! :)

Dear future pregnant self - it's really happened!!! I'm practically healed!!! At 12 weeks I was completely miserable feeling sure I'd NEVER recover, then 2 days later I was feeling amazing!!! Now 2 weeks later I am up and down a little, but generally a MILLION times better!!!!  I don't have a lot of time to write at the moment, but rest assured future miserable sick pregnant self, you totes get better at the end of the first trimester - all will be well :) :) :)

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE PREGNANT!!!!

I just spent a few minutes writing a post (below) about how terrible and awful I feel, and how I'm having a very difficult time being pregnant.  It is awfully hard and tough at the moment, but it is also, AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

I am soooooooooooooo excited!!! :)  I am overwhelmed a lot lately with all the 'hard' that comes with this time (that will hopefully be finished soon!!), but it feels like I have a bunch of layers of hard, starting at the outside - physically it's so hard, I'm so sick, then there's the next layer in of emotional hard - hard not being as 'there' as I want to be for the children, hard not looking after my husband and making his food the way I like to, hard being completely helpless and reliant on others to get my children to school, etc., being so useless, bla bla, bla Actually I think the emotional hard is a few layers all on its own.

But THEN, inside of me, right at the centre, surrounded by all the hard, is a sparkling ball of excitement and anticipation and wonder and gratitude and thrill and SO MUCH LOVE, that sends shivers and happiness through all my other layers when I can push aside the 'sick' and 'guilt' enough to let it!!!

Because we're having another BABY!!!!

We have 4 so far and there's not one among them who isn't AWESOME and AMAZING and INCREDIBLE, and one of the BIGGEST BLESSINGS OF OUR LIVES!!!!

And those little angels are sure excited about the baby in my tummy!!  As often as I can stomach it they are lying beside me rubbing my belly and talking to the baby :)  They can't wait to find out whether it's a boy or girl (tiebreaker round!!! ;)), and see it and hold it and cuddle it!! The girls are way too excited about how fat I'm going to get again!! ;)

Lately as I lie on the couch almost constantly, watching the children play, I often find myself just grinning at their awesomeness.  I love the way the girls are joined at the hip every second they're not in school.  Their imaginations are fabulous - they're mermaids, or princesses, or teachers, or pirates, or fairies, or doctors, or Mums, or aunties, or whatever the day brings.  They look after each other, and they look after me.

In this whole long journey so far of me basically being almost completely useless to these girls, they have not waned in their wonderful and helpfulness.  I am completely amazed at how incredible they've been - and I expect them to be good - they usually are!! :)  But they are soooo thoughtful and sweet!  They pray for the baby and me, they ask if they can get me anything, they look after their little brothers, they help out whenever they're asked cheerfully, and without complaint.  I seriously can barely believe how wonderful they are.  And I'm so grateful for them, and grateful that they're not just sick of me being sick and frustrated with the whole business and just wanting more attention.  They are the exact opposite, and have been so comforting to all of us!!  I never want to treat the girls like they have responsibilities like James & mine.  We are the parents, and it's time for them to be children and enjoy their time.  We definitely teach them to work and look after their things and look after each other, but not in a way that makes it their 'role' at this time.  Their role is to grow and learn and progress and love and build beautiful relationships and be happy and feel free and safe.  They'll be parents and homemakers of their own homes one day, and hopefully they will love it like we do!!  I don't want them to have a bad view of having children or a home to look after through any negative connotations of growing up in a big family and having big burdens placed on them through me not doing my job properly, if that makes sense.  Anyway, they have 'stepped up' at this time so beautifully and eagerly, without even being asked, and though they're helping me at times with things that I normally would never ask them to do, I'm so grateful that they're so kind and excited and happy to help, and they have seriously made this hard time so much easier for me by being such angels!!!  I can't stress how awesome they are.  And how cheerful and sweet!!!  And they have been such comforts to their brothers when I am being sick or something and they've led them away to play and distract them while I sort myself out!  Ana cleans the entire house every day she is home.  Without me saying a word to her I'll suddenly notice that they toys are all gone, and she's gone about and tidied everyone's rooms and made their beds.  What 4 year old does that?!  And Maggie gets home and assumes a place as everyone's entertainers and defenders, and reads to her siblings and thinks of fun games for them all to play together while I try to pull myself together.  They are both angels.

And then I watch the boys play.  And they're soooo so different to each other.  SJ is so quiet and sweet, and he has his own little world of cars and planes and dinosaurs, and he likes to share it with people, but it's special for him.  He loves giving cuddles and kisses and grins shyly when he comes and 'plants one on me' ;)  Christian just walks around trying to discover and destroy anything he can get his hands on at this stage, and he's so neverendingly cheerful and persistent and bouncy and loud, and loves being the center of attention!!!  They, unlike the girls, have spent this time fighting hard to get a bunch of attention from me.  If one of them is cuddling me the other will inevitably try to cuddle me too! - It has been very difficult for me when I'm super sick and it's really hard to have them crawling all over me, but what a blessing!  I have these 2 completely perfect and adorable and so different sons, who are so happy and sweet and loving, and love crawling all over me lol.  And SJ is starting to talk SO WELL, and loves testing out his language progress, and Christian is just so ridiculously confident in every way, nothing is a boundary to him.  Watching them makes me feel so happy - until the terror of them both thundering towards me for some quality cuddle time when I feel like I'm going to be sick comes round again ;)

It's been my longest ever break between children, and I am SO EXCITED to have a newborn baby again :)  I'm so excited to hold its tiny hands, and snuggle it all day long!  I'm so excited to feed it and look after it, and be awake feeding it in the middle of the night like we're the only two people in the world who are awake at that moment.  And I am SO excited for the love it's going to be getting from every angle around here!! :)  SJ seems to understand this time that there's a baby in my belly (he was 100% oblivious with Christian lol), and he has been soooo gentle and sweet patting my belly, and the girls are all over it.  They have been super big sisters/mother hens for a good 2 and a half years now (longer for Mags!), and are VERY excited for the new addition to our family.  They are having fun anticipating whether girls or boys will overtake the other in numbers around here, and keep chatting about what all of it's physical features will be, from the curly/straight hair debate to whether one of the children will have 'matching green eyes like Mummy's', or continue the 'brown eyed baby' trend the rest of this family follows :)

And of course James is super excited as well :)  At the moment he's all business trying to get us through this hard time and look after me and the other children, but he is the most incredible dad, I am so grateful he is my husband and our babies' father!!! They are soooooo blessed - we all are! - to have him!!! :)  Sometime in the first few hours after bub is born, we always manage to have some time up at the hospital while our other children are with our mums, and I will rest while James holds the tiny new baby in his arms and gets to know him or her.  It's such a beautiful time for both of them and I'm excited to see him bonding with the next one!!! :)

I know it's going to be hard/busy when bub is born next year.  When we had Christian last year and suddenly had 4 children 4 and under it was struggle time for me - I think it took me about 7 months to feel like I got my head above water again!!! But what a blessing of a challenge!!! By the time this 5th one is born Maggie will have turned 6 already, and she and Ana will both be in school full time, so I'll just have the 3 at home each day.  Every baby we have had has been such a happy, wonderful miracle in our lives, I really can't express how happy we are to know there's another on its way.  We feel sooo blessed!!!  When we were first married and it took us a long time to finally get Maggie, I don't think we could have imagined how blessed we would be to be surrounded with such beautiful children so quickly afterward!!

Oh and I know I said it but I'm so excited to have a newborn!!! I've always thought newborns were kind of boring, but since I've had mine, I've realised they're the most interesting, beautiful little things in the world!! :)  I will happily spend hours just staring at my baby, laughing every time it yawns, excitedly pointing every twitch out to James, or whoever is 'fortunate' enough to be nearby ;)  Babies are awesome.  They have no downsides.  Unless you count sleep deprivation as a 'downside', which you might be justified in doing ;)  But they are just perfect, and straight from God, and it's so exciting to be holding in your arms the tiny bub that's been chilling out in your belly for 9 months!! And so exciting for all of us to shuffle down to a 'new normal' in our family, with another little bundle of fabulousness.

So although I mentioned 'the hard stuff' in this post, and in great depth in the post below this one, if you look at the video in the post below that one, you'll see how excited I am ;)

Future Abby: read this when you are pregnant and morning sick...

Hi future self.  So I'm 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant :)

I am really, really sick.  And have been for about 6 weeks now.  The last 6 weeks have been horrifyingly bad for me - I don't know why they came as such a shock (this isn't exactly our first rodeo!!), but as much as I know it's going to be hard, you really and truly just forget every single time, and unless you're IN the moment, you can't quite imagine it.  It's like labour I'm sure, but that's a while off for now, so I don't need to worry about it yet!!  (As terrifying and horrific as labour is, the things I've learnt that stand out the most to me from the other 4 births are,

a) you usually live through it (I literally and quite seriously could barely believe I was still alive after Maggie's traumatic labour and delivery hahaha :)), and
b) YOU GET A BABY AT THE END!!!  SO YOU BARELY CARE WHAT YOU JUST WENT THROUGH!!!!!!!! :) SERIOUSLY!!!! :)  NOTHING BEATS THAT!!!!)

Anyway, I'm at a point in this pregnancy where according to my pregnancies with the 4 children we already have, I should start getting better in a week, and be almost entirely well in 3 weeks.  But I'm having some trouble believing that.  Will I really and truly just wake up and be able to get out of bed like a normal person?!  Will I be able to stop eating constantly and not want to be sick every time I move an inch?!  Will I really be able to eat whatever I want?  Could I just eat a normal sized meal 3 times a day and nothing weird and awful and desperate 50 times inbetween each?  Could I do my washing without sucking the heck out of a Preggie Pop in desperation that I'll be well enough to get all the pieces on or off the line?!  Will I actually be well enough to fold the washing? Push the pram? Make dinner? Play with the children?  Will I not feel like a bacon & egg muffin & hashbrown meal is the only thing that can really save me each morning??!!!

In my head I think I will.  I mean one day, surely?  But I am having a really hard time believing it!!

I've basically been a useless sloth for a while now.  I've barely taken the girls to school - probably not more than 3 times in the last 6 weeks at least.  They have spent a LOT of time in before & after school care, taken early and picked up late by James, they have spent time before/after school in James' office, my Mum and Dad and brother Oli have done a bunch of school runs for me, and friends have taken them and brought them home (even taking them to the playground for a play a couple of times!).  I guess the whole 'school' thing has added a different dimension to this pregnancy - I usually just cancel everything during these first few months and stay home, but I think it might be illegal not to take your children to school?! ;)  I've barely cooked, or cleaned, or made food.  Mum has spent so much time coming over in the mornings and helping with the boys until their naps, at which point she's made lunches and popped them in the fridge for later, often made dinners, and I've you know, sat on the couch or in bed pathetically.  James has been working SO HARD at school and home this term (probably his busiest school term ever - terrible timing!!!), but has had a lot of late nights, and Mum's even come over sometimes at night to help with dinner when James was busy.  But when James has gotten home he's had to clean up everything, get school uniforms and lunches ready for the next day, catch up on washing, etc. etc.  Basically I've been a huge burden on my husband and children and parents and siblings.  Which is actually really hard to stomach for a long period of time.  The constant guilt and feeling of helplessness has really gotten to me!!!  (Though at the same time I'm HUGELY grateful!!!!!  They are amazing.  I am sooo blessed!!!!  But sorry guys!!! :S :S :S)

Anyway, (you'd think the complaining couldn't go on much longer but I've been playing Take 2 for years, and my complaining is on another plane ;) - so I'll cut myself off ;)), I've read back on some of my old blog posts, and was sort of comforted to see that I really was super sick at the start of each, and I really did get better by 14 weeks.  But were all of those really as desperately bad as this pregnancy?!! - Cause I don't remember anymore!!

SO I wanted to write this to reassure myself:  This pregnancy is the WORST EVER.  It is SOOOOO HARD!!!!  I can do NOTHING and feel COMPLETELY HELPLESS AND GUILTY.  I am 11 weeks along and definitely no improvement yet.

And now, I'll wait till 14 weeks and report back to future pregnant again me, on whether or not I really and truly improved.  That way maybe next pregnancy I'll be able to hold on to this, and let myself believe in a brighter future ;)

So good luck current me, and future pregnant morning sick me.  Fingers crossed my '14 weeks' magic moment keeps holding true!!!

And now I'm going to write a post about how excited I am to be pregnant.  Because I am :)

Sister Love!

I just got off the phone to my beautiful sister-in-law Jessima who moved far, far away a few months ago now, and it hits me again how much I miss her!  And how lucky I am to be so very blessed sisters-wise.  I was born with an older sister, the Tamster, who's always been perfect in every way - including being the best big sister on the entire planet.  Then Bethany was born, who's one of the sweetest, nicest person you've ever met, she's ridiculously nice.  Both of them are.  And then my brother Jonny married Jessima, who's another one of the sweetest, nicest people you've ever met, and she just opened up her heart to all of us and we all adore her.  Then Micky married Bec, and they've always lived so far away but they still make an effort to come and see us and they've just had baby Saphira and Bec is such a sweet Mama!  Some people don't have any sisters at ALL!!!  And I feel for them terribly!!  James has a half sister who he only found out about semi recently and who he's never met, but I hope one day we do, because I can't imagine missing out on another sister relationship!  She lives overseas, and is about 5 years younger than us I think - maybe more?  But the thought of another sister thrills me.  And I've got another 2 in the bag sometime in the future when Boliver take on their vows and marry another couple for us!  It's so exciting wondering who they'll be! :)  Sisters are so nice.

I feel like such a wonderful parent, because Maggie and Ana have each other.  Forget buying them a swing set - I just birthed each of them their lifelong BFF.  You're welcome, girls :)

And I'm pregnant at the moment (and dying.  Was morning sickness really this bad every other time?!  HOW do I forget this?!) and hoping to give SJ a brother (yes, I'll love it just as much if it's female ;)) so that he can have a brother like I have my sisters.  And while I've been dead and dying of morning sickness Tammy and Beth have both come over and done my dishes and helped with my girls and brightened my days!!  My wonderful mother has been over a LOT, and I've been over there and she's looked after my babies and done the days' meals for us so I didn't have to gag over the sink for hours too.  I am so grateful I can't even tell her properly.  She is wonderful.  And she has so much of her own stuff on at the moment and has been dropping everything to come and help me.  I am so blessed with wonderful women in my life!!

And now I should mention the amazing guys too - from Oliver making me toasties when I was hunched up on his couch the other day to Ben helping with the children and Dad making me Sunday night dinners, I am so blessed - and I haven't even mentioned James, who has been 'The Man' - coming home from work, making dinner, doing dishes, putting children to bed, cleaning everything and then pulling out all his tons of marking and report writing for his reports that are due next week, while I lie limply on the couch barely even pulling out a smile.  And he does all that in addition to looking after me and running out to get me anything that I thought would make me feel better if just for a moment!

So very blessed!  I hope the J's move back one day and we can hang out with them again.  I feel like I took them for granted when they were here and I miss them!!  And Jessima is down there all alone being supermum with her 4 children under 5, baby Jayde only 5 weeks old and Jonny working long hours in the new business!!  And now I so wish I could help them!!  (At least when the morning sickness goes away Jess :P).  It's Jenna's birthday today, and I wish we could see her and cuddle her and wish her happy birthday!!  Maggie talks about Jenna and Jordan and Jacey and Little Baby Jayde 'who we haven't seen yet' all the time, and loved calling her up to wish her happy birthday earlier :)

I'd better dash - my little baby man is crying and he really is the sweetest baby boy I've ever seen in my life, he has me completely wrapped - it makes James roll his eyes at least 20 times a day - another reason it's good I'm pregnant - this way hopefully I won't spoil Stanley-James too much when I get busy with the baby :)  But for now, I'm his - and I'm off.  But I'm really so grateful for my sisters!  And brothers, and parents, and everyone, and this baby in my belly that's making me so sick but I know that I'm going to love it forever, and I'm so excited to be adding another little perfect person to this family who make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world every single day!  Oh poor SJ - really going now! xoxox

He Turned!!!

We went for a follow-up appointment at the hospital yesterday afternoon, and the ultrasound revealed that Boy has somersaulted and is back in a good position for birth - YAY!!! :)  So no weird external turning procedure with a 40% chance of having to book in for a caesarian!  YAY!!! :)  Am so excited to be able to have him naturally, whenever he feels like coming :)  Now all I have to do is remember to sit forward a lot so he's not posterior.  Posterior isn't nice.  Yay Boy!! :)

Happy New Years!!! :)

Had the best New Years Day yesterday!! :)  I've been wanting to get some jobs done lately that just seem so 'big' in my current state!  It was James' last day of holidays and he was SO wonderful, bless him!  And the girls, who have had a crazy last few weeks, amenably slept for hours, so we could just 'do our stuff' :)

First, we got rid of Christmas!  Our house looks so lovely and clean and neat!!  We put away all of the Christmas decorations and cards and cushions, and everything else, and put out our usual house stuff.  Especially after the final vacuum, taking with it the last of the pine needles, it felt REALLY good! :)  I organised all of our Christmas things into new storage and organising containers I recently bought a million of, and love the new organised system!!! :)  I cleaned out the rest of the top of Ana's cupboard while I was there :)  We also managed to find places for ALL of the Christmas toys the girls received - no small feat!!  And I reorganised (even though they'd only had it for a week!) their little kitchen, and when they woke up we went through it together so they KNOW where EVERYTHING goes, and hopefully it's not as crazy in future! :)

Then, we organised everything Baby Boy :)   Until we move in the next few months, he gets 2 drawers to his little name - and a bassinet, if all goes according to plan and it EVER gets here! (We order through a shop which sell everything SO MUCH CHEAPER than everywhere else, but Maggie's cot, which we ordered over 3 months before she arrived, didn't arrive until well after they told us it would, after her birth!  They told us the bassinet would be here before the end of December, but alas - now they're saying end of January - and this boy will be here before then! :s  Hopefully it arrives just after he does?!!).  Anyway, I pulled out all of the lovely boy clothes we got for Christmas, and blankets, and toys, and organised them all :)  This is one of the FUNNEST parts of getting ready for baby :)  I put all of the clothes and blankets in the wash, and then used the drier instead of hanging them out, because it makes them so much fluffier and softer!! :)  I plan on having an ironing day this week, and getting them all beautifully ironed and folded and put away :)  It's so fun doing 'blue'!!! :)   With organising Boy's things, came organising my things too - to pack our hospital bags :)  I'll finish up properly when Boy's clothes are ironed and ready :)  It's all pretty exciting though!  I know I'm not quite in the 'nesting' stage, because as much as I love and was loving getting things ready for him, the urge was not accompanied by any kind of burst of energy, and I had to keep sitting down abruptly and resting cause I felt like I was going to faint half the day! :p  So hopefully that comes soon, and I can have another useful day or two before he gets here :)

We also managed to get out for a little grocery shop in the afternoon, including our first pack of newborn nappies ready to pack into the hospital bag :)  Sadly by that time I ended up sitting on a couch in the shopping centre and James running in to get the groceries (I love grocery shopping! :)), but we did it :)  James had (between helping me get things done all day) also been 'Mr Fix-It'-ing, fixing up a bunch of odd little things - he's always so onto stuff and handy, I love it!  :)

By the time we put dinner away and the girls went to bed, I felt fantastic!!  Everything is so clean and neat and organised right now, happy sigh!! :)  I sat on the couch and ate watermelon and read a book, and at some point fell asleep until James woke me up and took me to bed.  He used to carry me, but the whole 9 months pregnant thing seems to have ended that for now lol :)

So Happy New Years Everyone!!! Hopefully this year is as clean and fresh and exciting as Day 1 was for me!! :)  Bring on our Baby Boy and James starting teaching and everything else - 2013 is looking like our best year yet!!! :)

Breach Baby Boy! :S

Went for a scan last week to check the growth of baby boy - they were worried that maybe he wasn't growing fast enough again, like Ana.

Good news:  Growth is great!! He is much bigger than either of the girls at this age.  Doesn't sound great to me in terms of birthing him, but great in terms of he's healthy and strong!! - And apparently I have a 'juicy, fat' placenta going in there, so that's good too lol :)

But the doctor at the hospital called me this morning to tell me that baby is breach - which we'd noticed during the scan, and been a bit worried about!  She said baby might still flip on its own until about 37 weeks, at which point he'll be too big.  I'm 36 weeks and 1 day today.  I have an appointment next week, and they're going to scan me at that appointment, to confirm baby's position.  If he hasn't flipped into birth position by then, they'll book me in for some very long-named procedure through which they try to externally get the baby to flip, 'so that they don't have to give me a caesarean'...  I'm completely terrified and anxious.  Maggie's posterior birth was hell, and I'm desperate to have this baby naturally - please baby just get into position!! The doctor also said (in response to my slightly edgy query) that there's nothing I can really do to flip the baby.  She said all the spinning babies and sitting forward stuff is great for posterior babies, but we don't need the baby to spin a little - we need it to do a complete somersault...  Mum said she had a couple of us breach, and people used to all the time and it was fine, but apparently it's higher risk with the cord and stuff so they don't really let you deliver naturally with a breach these days.

I'm a little upset cause baby boy was beautifully in position a few weeks ago - the midwives and doctors were saying he might come early, because his head was so low in the birth canal and he was was all ready to go!!  So why did he flip?!  The ultrasound lady (who has a teenage son who's causing her a lot of grief right now!) said "It's a boy! - This is just the beginning!" :)  Which made us laugh :)  But come on baby, flip back!!

So if you feel like praying for us to have a right-way-down baby, please do!! I would really like him to flip, or that very long-named procedure to come through, so that I can have him naturally!  I can't wait until he's here!  Pregnancy and childbirth continue to completely terrify me!

The Kankles...

...are back.

I thought I was doing really well, but I think since I've broken my toe I'm putting a lot of extra pressure on funny spots around my legs and feet, and the kankles are officially back.  Was shaving my legs last night and realised I couldn't even find the little bone that sticks out of the inside of the ankle!! Sigh... but only 8 and a half weeks to go!!! Wow that's a long time!! lol :)

Happy skinny ankle days to the rest of you!

83 Days of Health: Day 8 ... and a few random bits & pieces...

Healthier Eating Update:  I feel better.  More pregnant & less fat. And just... healthier! :)  Which is actually a pretty good feeling!!  James has suggested I have a dessert a week, like I did back with the fitness challenge, but at the moment I'm enjoying the full de-tox treatment, so I'll keep going 100% for now, and see how I go!  I tend to graze a little at home during the day, so I've been replacing chocolate with peanuts, crackers and hommus, cheese and fruit.  It's amazing how after 3 days fruit felt like a dessert!! (like, really amazing for me!)  I also got some yummy yoghurt at the shops, and eating that with some canned peaches also feels like a dessert - weird, weird!!  This week I had to endure Halloween (that was a bit sad - we had a little party and everyone's scary food looked soooo yummy!), Tammy's birthday dinner including a dessert table with the world's best cake that Jonny and Jessima created, and pumpkin pie - one of my all-time favourite desserts!! - My gorgeous niece Jacey's 1st birthday party involving another one of those cakes, and family dinner - featuring all the leftovers!  But I found it easier than expected, because I knew what I was going to be up against before I went I guess! - Also, I feel like I should be doing this whole thing for health reasons with this pregnancy, so it's easier to say 'no'!  And I am glad I did, today!!

Pregnancy Brain has been blamed for a lot of things surrounding me lately.  I'm suffering from it badly this time! - So many silly things, and I can't seem to form many sentences the right way around!  Not to mention my complete lack of attention span.  At the beginning of this pregnancy I was making myself some toast, and I decided on a slice of honey, and a slice of Vegemite.  I made my toast, and then when I went to eat the Vegemite piece, I thought it tasted really weird - really... sweet.  But it wasn't until I started eating the 'honey' piece that I realised what I'd done, because there was nothing at all on that slice!!
But on Thursday last week, I went to make an online bPayment for our tithing, and after carefully counting James' work hours and figuring out how much he'd made before tax, I made the payment.  Only instead of paying 10%, I paid the full amount.  His entire weeks' wage.  Gone.  Which puts a bit of a dampen on our budget!!! Tithing is one of my favourite commandments to follow, because I can't even begin to tell you the amazing blessings we've received from it, but I kind of needed that other 90%!!! lol.

Ward Changes!  Yesterday we had a special 3-ward meeting at church instead of our usual meeting.  They split the 3 wards and made 4.  James and Mum had been telling me that we probably wouldn't be in the same ward as my family after the split, but I thought that was crazy - we live so close to them! - As if we'd be split!!  But we were!  I really couldn't believe it!  It feels funny to not be in their ward for the first time in my life!  And we're attending at a different chapel too, which is also a bit strange.  But it's exciting for the church! :)  And kind of exciting for us to start in a brand new ward from scratch!  And now James and I are both out of our callings - he was in Young Mens and I've been Ward Music Director and a Visiting Teaching Supervisor, but not anymore!  All new callings in the new ward, we just have a Bishopric at the moment.  Most importantly for us, Dad was released as the Bishop yesterday too - after 7 years!  He was called when James was in his first 6 months of his mission - that seems like a lifetime ago!!  He's the kindest person in the world, and he took the ward through some challenging times.  He has worked so hard, and blessed the lives of so many people.  I can't imagine a more wonderful Bishop, so even though I guess it's great that he gets a rest (he really deserves one, and it'll be nice for him to be able to be around more and spend more time with Mum), and it's been a long time, I'm really sad not to have him as our Bishop anymore!!  Not that our new bishop won't be wonderful as well - he's a lovely man and we're glad to have him in our new ward.  But lots of big changes happening in the church around Brisbane at the moment!! - very exciting.

James is Finished Uni!!  He hasn't graduated yet, but all his classes and assessment are finished, we're just waiting for his results and confirmation of passes (please please please!! - But he feels good about it so I think we're safe!) to graduate!  I booked tickets for his graduation the day they came out, for us, Mum and Dad and Tammy, and James' parents and Nana & Koro, who are flying in for it!!!  So he'd better pass!! :)  I also booked and paid for his robes, and ordered a matching frame to mine to put his degree in.  The university suggest you don't do any of this before it's confirmed that you'll graduate, because you'll lose your money if he doesn't pass, but if he doesn't pass, it'll be the least of our worries!! :P  But I'm glad we booked early cause we got great seats! :)  lol.  Exciting for the girls to see their Dad graduate too :) I can't wait :) If he gets a good job my happiness will be complete!!!

Our boy is due in... just under 11 weeks!!! :D  Which means Christmas is coming quickly!! And James' Birthday, and Maggie's 3rd!!  But I'm so excited for everything that's coming up! :)  And planning to have Christmas presents sorted by the end of November :) - Bring it ON!!!  Also, Maggie already knows 'Away in a Manger', 'Rudolf' and 'Jingle Bells' by heart - so we're ready :)

Last week was crazy busy, and awesome.  3 parties, a fun outing down the coast, a bunch of very late nights, and obviously my brain switched off sometime around April, so it was overwhelming in parts!  This week, we have nothing on at all - at least until the weekend!  The girls and I are ready for some 'down time'.  I think poor James wishes he was, but he's working hard and trying to get job applications in outside hours.  I am excited for when the school term finishes and he's able to have more afternoons off and have a tiny bit of downtime himself.  A job offer would also help increase his work and stress levels!  Hopefully soon! :)

Have a fabulous day!!! :) xox

83 Days of Health: Day 1

I don't get pregnant in a 'hot, skinny with an adorable tiny little bump' kind of way.  I start 'showing' ridiculously early.  Like, before the first 12 weeks is up, people are asking me how far along I am! - It's not even considered 'safe' to tell people yet!!  Most of this is due to the fact that with the particular brand of morning sickness I get, if I don't have food in my mouth I am siiiiiiiiiiick.  So I'm constantly eating, and eating totally random cravings food, like chicken drumsticks and milkshakes.  I've never craved an apple.  And I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get it right then, so as much as my head is saying 'You're crazy!  You're going to put on 30+ kilos again!' (like I did with Maggie.  I know, ridiculous!), my body is saying "I DON'T CARE IF I PUT ON 50!!! - HAND OVER THE DRUMSTICKS!!!".  My head also tells me that if I don't get my cravings and go through the sickness, I probably WILL be one of those 'skinny with an adorable tiny little bump' people - the ones who lose weight through their constant sickness, but when I'm feeling that sick (like death) and I know that there's a way to feel even a tiny bit better, there's no way I'm not cramming whatever my body seems to be wanting into my mouth!  Sounds awesome, hey?  :)  (the baby you get at the end of it, indescribably so! :))

Anyway, after the first trimester and a bit of 'death to the world' sick, I've been lying down almost constantly, and all my pre-pregnancy dreams of 'This time I'll stay fitter and less humongous' have gone out the window.  You're generally safe, according to doctors, to continue whatever fitness regime you were doing before you got pregnant, just be careful, and don't jump up and down at all, or do crazy stuff.  Sadly, if you stop for the first three months, it's not a great idea to try to pick it back up again, so my dreams of playing netball through to the end of trimester 2 went down the drain at about week 3.  I get exhausted after doing.... almost nothing, and in this pregnancy, my tummy has been spasm-ing a lot, hurting like crazy and stopping me in my tracks.  It feels like my tummy muscles don't exist in the slightest anymore, and if I try to do anything that involves a little bit of tummy tension (you'll find that walking, requires this), it goes berserk, and I'm lying down again for the rest of the day.  It's dumb, and annoying.

Last night I was eating a piece of leftover chocolate cake from my birthday, and thinking of one of my maternity outfits, and hoping that it would fit until the end of this pregnancy.  I suddenly wondered exactly how long I have to go, and added up the weeks, realising that as of yesterday, I was due in exactly 12 weeks!!  Hello 3rd Trimester!! And almost BABY!!! YIPEE! :)  But 12 weeks is plenty of time to get even larger, and so I made what James laughed and described as a 'rash' decision (but a good one - you know he's a health nut!), and immediately put the cake down and decided to go off junk food until the baby comes.

Upsides:

1. Hopefully I'll still fit into a lot of my maternity clothes at the end of this thing!  
2. Hopefully less weight to lose when this baby comes out to join us.
3. Hopefully I'll feel better and fitter, and more able to do everything without being as exhausted.  Although I know this may be offset by the whole '3rd trimester' thing!
4. This may even save money!

Downsides:

1. Halloween/Tammy's birthday this week
2. Being able to eat whatever I want when I have a bad 'throwback to morning sickness' day
3. James annoyingly calling this an 'addiction detox' for the next 12 weeks. - Doesn't me being able to go without it just prove it's not an addiction?!!!
4. Christmas - HOLD THE PHONE!!!!

There's no way I'm not eating all the good, traditional stuff on Christmas Day!!!!  Hence, '83 Days of Health', rather than the 84 days that 12 weeks denotes.  I get that day OFF! :)  Sadly I know from past experience that when you're out of the habit of eating junk food, you don't get those skills back in one day, so Christmas may not be all it usually is in terms of me eating a LOT of yummy food, but a taste'll probably do me by then (sigh).

If baby comes early, so does my junk food hiatus.  Not that I plan on gorging myself as soon as he arrives, but I need jelly beans during labour (is that just me?!), and I'll give myself a tiny break before heading into another one of these Fitness Challenges!!  (It totally worked!  I lost everything I'd put on with Ana AND the weight I'd never lost with Maggie!!! : ) And stopped sobbing through each workout (James is a tough PT!) And then I got pregnant again...).  I guess I'll decide what to do when baby comes when baby comes, but there you have it.  So welcome Day 1, of my addiction detox 83days of health!!!! :)  

I'll keep you posted ;)

It's a....

BOY!!!

We're having a boy!!! :)  Way to shake up our girly little household :)  (James probably wouldn't agree that it's 100% girly - just humongous chunks of it :D).  Bring on the Tonkas and the trains (I've been dying to buy a cute, wooden train set for a loooong time), and the blue, and the BOY!!!! :)  He's just perfect, too, according to the scan, and all is well :)  My placenta's right at the front, which explains why the kicks are a little harder to feel, but I love the sweet, soft little kicks he's doing more every day!!  We can't wait to meet him in January!!!!

Here are my little 'to make it feel real!!!' weekend purchases :)

Tiny, sweet little socks!!! :)  It's kind of exciting that we have pretty much NOTHING that isn't pink!! :)  I love shopping for babies!!!

And while we're on the subject of shopping, and blue stuff, I found 'the maternity dress':

If you like it too (don't you love that it's blue?  Totally great for having a boy in that belly!  lol) and you have a spare $399.95 + postage you can get yourself one here.  I probably won't be bumping into you at the checkout lol, but isn't it MUCH more flattering than the usual tight and awkward pregnancy dresses that tell the world exactly how much I ate during my crazy 1st trimester?? :)  I think it's lovely :)

Teacher Registration Australian Citizenship Job Applications Resume Touch Ups Overdue Fines Bills Budgeting Car Registration Insurance Is Anyone Out There Feeling this Way??!!!

This is my best depiction of me at the moment:

(I was actually going to photoshop my face in, but I couldn't find any pictures of me not smiling, and it really wouldn't have depicted me very well.  Also, I haven't been reeeally blonde for quite some time now.  But the paperwork?  That's spot on!)

I am 'the paperwork girl' in our little family.  Maggie or Ana may usurp me in this call as they grow older, but for now they're about as motivated as James is in the paperwork department.

I take care of budgets and bills and applications and all that jazz.  I used to get a kick out of crossing all the t's and dotting the i's.  I always kind of love a good, completed form that I know won't be sent back for more details, because I didn't miss a thing.  Weird, but we all take pride in something! :)  The last few years have taken a bit of a toll on this pleasant little piece of housekeeping for me though.

Possibly my only real memory when I think of my last semester at uni is the endless paperwork I had to do.  I remember 'photocopying my life' - so many times over that I ended up just photocopying a kazillion copies of my birth certificate, marriage certificate and passport, and getting them all certified at once from a Justice of the Peace.  I'm sure it took ages and the people in line behind me wanted to throw things at my head, but sometimes you just gotta get it all done!!  It seemed like every governing body and every application centre wanted a new bunch of random details (with proof attached - copies of everything certified by yet another Justice of the Peace) and it was crazy.

THEN, we applied for James to become an Australian Permanent Resident.  Boy if I thought graduating was a toll on my satisfaction for completing paperwork, I had another thing coming.  We had to 'prove' we were in love.  Letters and invitations addressed to both of us from the entire course of our relationship and marriage, proof that we stayed in touch through any absences, wedding photos, honeymoon photos, engagement photos, photos at different events, scrapbooks, joint power bills, etc., etc.  Then we had to give in all the usual proof of identity, lack of criminal record, good intentions, upstanding good character, etc for both of us, because I was 'sponsoring' James.  Awesome.  We got it on the spot.  I ended up being super over-prepared, because it turned out that having a baby together proved we were obviously in love (phew!), or at least stuck in each others' lives forever if we weren't!!!  Bless Maggie. 

Anyway, now James is graduating from uni.  I've been steadily dreading this time for the last few months, but it's come, and it's much worse than I even anticipated, because it coincides with us finally applying for Australian Citizenship (for James - I got it at birth :)), and our our annual big bills and renewals, and a bunch of other things.  On the upside, I still have a bunch of certified copies of his life on file, due to my extraordinarily long trip to the JP a couple of years ago.  Sometimes I decide to just leave James' paperwork to James, but when the deadline's drawing close I quickly pick it back up again, because let's face it - I'm just as much in need of him getting his teacher registration as he is!!!  I AM pretty excited about him getting citizenship :)  He just ordered one of the citizenship test books to study from, and I think he's pretty excited too :)

Paperwork I still LOVE and I don't think I'll EVER get over:  Registering the births of our babies and applying for their birth certificates.  How much fun is it writing out the little names you've just given them and declaring them new little citizens of our wonderful country and this world?!!! :)  Awesome :)

Oh, and my BIGGEST paperwork oversight:  Forgetting to return the form asking (as James had come to the end of his drivers licence points from an obscene amount of speeding tickets) if James wanted to go on 'probation' for 6 months, or lose his licence completely for 3.  Because I didn't return it, he automatically lost it for 3, and it was the bane of both of our existences (sigh).  And then it was like it was my fault James lost his licence!!!! (BIG sigh!!).

LOOONG Catch-Up!!!!!

Hey little personal blog/journal!!

It's been a little while since I've written anything remotely interesting on here, and I'm going to unashamedly blame it on being pregnant once again!!! :)  Yay!! :)  I'm just over 16 weeks now though, and have been getting better over the last 4 weeks - I've been pretty great for the last 2, but I'm tired a lot, the usual :)

Since I've been well again though, I've been spending my more awake time having lots of fun and outings with my fabulous girls, who were so patient with me for all those weeks when I lay on the couch uselessly, asking them to be gentle with me and basically being no fun at all!!  I am so GRATEFUL that James took a month off work completely during uni holidays, and got us through the worst of it, and by the time he started back full time (between work and study) I was getting back into it.

It's funny how hard morning sickness hits.  I guess a lot of people never get it, and if you're not grateful for that, you should be.  Because it's awful! - You just feel like you're dying!!! I kept saying to James "This is MUCH worse than the other two times - I'm dying!  This is awful!  I can't do this for 8 more weeks" and so on, but he just said "It's exactly the same sweetie, you've just forgotten!  But you'll get through it and you'll be okay" :) .  He took care of absolutely everything for us - meals, cleaning, looking after the girls, looking after me, running around town trying to satisfy my horrible cravings (I don't have fun cravings.  I've mentioned this before on this blog.  But it's more like "I need a Red Rooster chicken drumstick now or I'll die!" and less like "Hm... I'm craving chocolate.  Please go and buy me 3 blocks and I will eat them and chill out :)).  I was also probably insufferable to be around.  I devoured I don't know how many books, until I ran out, and became bored and more miserable.  I watched a bunch of movies and then got sick of them all.  I watched the entire first 4 seasons of Chuck.  Bless funny, random, light hearted shows you've never seen before for trying to take your mind off things!!  I felt like such a bad mother.  The girls ran riot if James ever went out, and I just felt sooo bad for them! - Bored and cooped up all the time! I'm so glad James was around to take them out and do stuff with them.  And he and Ana developed a wonderful relationship - the kind he's always had with Maggie but Ana's missed out on a little in her early days, because he was home a lot more when Maggie was born and has been a lot busier since Ana.  But they really bonded and it's wonderful to see now :)  She just adores him, and he her.  And Maggie loved having her main man around all the time!

By the end of the sickness, I started to feel like I was crazy, and maybe it was all in my head?  Maybe I was just lazy?  So I'd try to do more, and fail miserably, and end up in bed, much worse than before.  I just felt like I wasn't being a very good person.  And I never wanted to go out and do anything!  I would make plans with friends and then cancel cause I wasn't up to it, and I felt like such a bad friend!   But then I started to have days where I was actually well, and then you realise "Oh, I'm not a bad person - I'm not just lazy!  I was actually really, really sick!!!  Oh my word I feel great today!! I am going to clean my house and take the girls to the park!!  And catch up with friends!!  And make dinner!!" and it's just the most incredible feeling ever.  I keep saying to James "I just can't describe it.  It's like you're in this horrible black hole and you can't get better no matter what and then you start to doubt yourself and you don't know if you're lazy or what and then suddenly you're better!  And you realise that health is the most incredible blessing, and you don't ever realise how wonderful it is until you're stuck in that black hole for weeks on end, terrified that this time it won't end at 14 weeks!"  I don't know how the wonderful strong women (like my mother, who had 7 of us!) who are sick for the entire 9 months manage!  I find it extremely difficult to get through the first three months.

But as a result of that time, the last few weeks have been absolutely fabulously blissful.  I'm back!! And the girls and I have been having a lot of fun, and making up for all our time lost.  They are SUCH great girls, and I feel so lucky to get to hang out with them all day long!  They are the funniest ages and they have me in stitches all day, and they're so sweet and kind and funny!!!  And James and I have been leaving the house again - we even went to the temple last Friday night, and we're going to our Stake Ball tomorow night! - I don't know how I'll go fatigue-wise, but I'm super excited.

As usual, I put on WAY too much weight during trimester 1, but I've evened out a little just in the last couple of weeks, and I've come to terms with the fact that to help me feel a little better during that time, I just have to constantly eat, and to me it's a LOT easier to work out and lose the weight afterwards, than to try and stop myself from eating whatever I want during trimester 1!!  But hopefully I can repeat Ana's pregnancy, not the 30+kg's I put on with Maggie!!

And I am starting to get INCREDIBLY excited as I enter trimester 2, realising that I'm really going to be able to have another baby!! I'm always a little too nervous during the first 12 weeks to let myself be really excited, in case anything happens, but yesterday I went to the hospital and heard this little baby's heart beating for the first time, and in a few weeks we'll be able to find out whether it's a boy or girl, and I can't WAIT!!! That is my favourite part of pregnancy.  I love knowing what we're having.  It really helps me bond with baby.  We name it and talk to it, and I buy it pink or blue (pink so far, but it could be blue this time?! :)) and get everything ready for it, and it feels so much more real.  I can't wait!! James is pretty excited too :)  And so are Maggie and Ana.

So basically everything is complete sunshine at the moment, especially compared to being so sick - ugh!

Random bits and pieces:

• The fabulous Stacey came over the other week, and introduced us to 'Monopoly Deal', the card version of Monopoly.  Games only take maybe 15 minutes max. each, and it's a lot of fun.  I bought it for James for D.A.D (Daddy Appreciation Day) recently, and we've played it so many times he's sick of it, but I'm totally addicted!! :)
• My friend Estelle came over this afternoon to have some stamping fun with me, and she brought us dinner - uncooked.  I'm always saying I wish I were more confident cooking fish cause I love it, so she brought me the uncooked ingredients, and helped me prepare the fish for cooking, and all I have to do is chuck it in the oven half an hour before we want to eat!! Isn't that sweet?!  Dinner and a cooking lesson!! :)
• My Dad got broken into at his office again the other day.  It's happened a lot in the last year, and caused him a lot of grief and business loss, and it's really upsetting for our whole family I think.  Dad is just such a good person, and he works SOOOOO HARD and has my whole life, to support his family, and to have people just break in and take so much from him, is so hard to see.  They've been installing all sorts of security measures over the last year, and they just keep coming back.  This time, they actually like, dug a hole and broke through the bottom of a wall, and like, climbed in underground?! - Who does that?!!!  Anyway, they've had builders reinforce it all and I think they're putting in a new alarm system this time.  We are all praying that they stay away and that this break-in doesn't cause too much more grief than replacing all the valuable things in the office.
• I had to quit netball when I was only a little bit pregnant :(  I really, really wanted to keep playing, and stay fit during this pregnancy, but even though I switched out from Center and started playing on the wings, I was sick and fainting after games, and then you know, spent a really long time in bed doing nothing but being sick, and now I can't go back during this pregnancy.  I guess I'll save the organised sport for between pregnancies!
• James is in his last 6 months of uni.  Can you tell I'm grinning like a cheshire cat while I write this?!  Who knows where he'll be working this time next year?!!!! He has certainly worked hard for this degree, I'm so happy and excited for him, and for our whole family!!!  He will be so relieved to have a break from assignments hanging over his head all the time - I still seem to remember that feeling with perfect clarity!!
• This baby is due, 4 days before Maggie's 3rd birthday.  I'm guessing we won't be throwing her too big a party this year - I might miss it!!!
• Mum is currently designing her and Dad's new house.  I can't wait to see what it ends up looking like!! I couldn't do all the planning she is.  Well, at least, I really wouldn't want to.  Fortunately James will be just as keen as she is in that department - I'll just give him a list of what I want and let him do what he thinks with the rest of it when it comes our time!  Mum always makes things so beautiful though, so I can see why she'd want to do it herself!!  Meanwhile they're in a cute rental, and our childhood house is long sold to a young couple who are just starting a family.  I haven't driven past since they sold it.  I was so sick I didn't even take photos in every room and do any sort of 'goodbye wonderful house I lived in for 17 years!!' tour - which I SO would have done otherwise!!
• Elders Ben and Oliver have been on their missions for a year and 4 months now.  Isn't that crazy?!  They'll be home apparently before I know it, but it seems to be going awfully slowly!! We all miss them like crazy, but we're so proud of them.  They are working so hard and being so faithful and good!!  They make us smile whenever we think of them.  I still can't believe they haven't met Ana!!
• James is working with Dad at the moment. I like to think of them working together - My two favourite guys!!  :)  He's also coaching 3 teams at JPC and helping out with some of the PE classes there.  He's loving what he's doing, but it's certainly keeping him busy!!
• I lost some of my all time, FAVOURITE maternity clothes, and I'm devastated!! James thinks I must've accidentally taken them to Vinnies, and I just want to cry when I think about it!  Went maternity shopping the other weekend and found nothing.  I wish I had my pretty clothes back, sigh!!! 
• The J's live down the road now!  First I was sick, and since we've all had sick babies, but we're going over tomorow for a fun play (Jessima's put together a 'safari' which sounds fun!) and are happy that they're in our ward and we see them more often!! :)
• Baby Hallie = SO CUTE!! :)  And Beth = earth mother!! : ) We're planning on a visit next week - even though she's a lot closer now, the Gold Coast seems so far away at the moment! - But they do live pretty far south.  Hopefully more catch ups soon :)
• Ana and Maggie are so cute.  Did I say that already?!  They're best friends, they are both chatting (Ana only says a few intelligible words, but she's expanding her vocab rapidly(!) and Maggie will talk your ear off, all day, about everything :))  I'm in parenting heaven.  I'm so grateful for them and can't wait to find out what this baby is and then meet it in a few months!!! :)

Okay, My fish is going in the oven, so I'm going to go and watch it.  Hopefully I'll update more regularly soon, but I'm happy to say our little family blog is going strong, and I've been posting weekly on our new creative blog, so I'm sure enough of our little family history is being recorded - maybe just not giant posts about how awful morning sickness is, and how great life is afterwards :)  

Have a fabulous Thursday!!! :)  (Don't you love Thursdays?!  They're definitely one of my favourite days - so much hope on a Thursday I think!! :))

xoxox

Gripped with Excitement

I'm bouncing off the walls with excitement.

I don't know if my reasons would justify this state of being for everyone, but they seem to be working for me. Here are some of them:

• Christmas. In 6 weeks and 5 days. YAY!!!!!!! This is more exciting because I am on top of the Christmas shopping, YAY!!! :) And we are going to NSW to spend Christmas with all James' family down there for the first time, so I get to have pre-Christmas with my family up here, yay!! :) (I'm totally going to pretend it's Christmas Day! And then I get 2 of them! :))
• I also get to visit Beth & Robbie in Sydney for a few days at the end of the trip, YAY!! :)
• And we are going to James' mission reunion in Sydney, yay!! (more for him, but, happy husband happy ... life? And wife... It'll be fun for both of us, anyway :))
• Elders Boliver in Japan are doing GREAT :)
• Maggie and Ana are soooooo cool :) I seem to have been out of the house so much lately, yesterday and today at home with these girls have been so wonderful!
  
• James is finishing a big prac, tomorow, his final exam on Thursday, and 1 more assignment next Wednesday. Then he is OURS again!!! He'll go back to work, but he won't have any school homework until FEBRUARY, YAY!!! :) It feels like Ana hasn't bonded with him at this age as much as Maggie was able to cause he's been so busy, so I'm excited for them to be able to spend more time together especially :)
• Ana's new Bumbo arrived this morning, yay! Maggie has been sitting in it all morning. She loves it. It's a little odd that she's still fitting into it easily at almost 2, and Ana will probably get to fat for it before she does!
• Ana is deliciously chubby - she's just so healthy and beautiful! :) And such a sweetheart, we love her. Cooking up a pot of potatoes to mash and freeze for her today, bring on SOLIDS!!!! :)
• Netball tonight - I love playing.
• Mum and Dad getting there with their house to put it on the market! This one's mixed excitement and 'you can't sell our house!!!!' :p
• We get our two absent sisters back early next year!!! - Beth's coming up from Sydney (with Robbie, and her baby belly), and Tammy will be DONE with EFY!!! After 2 years I never thought it would happen! Pray for not floods in January, yeah?! :)
• JACEY was born on Friday, and she's so sweet and beautiful!! - Yay for gorgeous nieces and nephew! Jessima does SUCH a good job :)
• Bethany finds out whether her little soon-to-be firstborn is a boy or a girl in 3 weeks! YAY!!! :) (think female thoughts! :))
• I'm making roast for dinner tonight - that means I won't have to cook for at least one night after tonight. Bless leftovers!!! :)
• Maggie's talking all day long. SHe's so sweet and fun, we LOVE her!!! :)
• I have been playing with my early Christmas present from James :) It's a Franklin/Covey planner. I have big goals and plans for next year to be a super efficient Mum/Housewife/Person, and this is part of my master plan. James has let me have it now cause the earlier I start the better the lead-in to my year of efficiency. I am LOVING it. I am so pumped! And the binder I got? Totally cute :) You'll hear more about this later.
• Next year James and I have tickets to all the Harvest Rain Shows - I won them, YAY!!! :)
• For my birthday, Tammy gave me tickets to go and see Tim McGraw & Faith Hill in concert with her next year, and Jessima is taking me to the Power of Mums retreat that's coming to Australia in March!! WOW!! 2 HUGE presents, and both happening in March! SO exciting to look forward too!!! :)
• For HER birthday, I'm taking Tammy to go and see 'Annie' in April!! By July I'm going to have been to like 7 or 8 shows/concerts!! So many fun outings!!! :)
• In January, Jessima's parents are going away and we're able to go up and house-sit for them if we'd like to. They live in Caloundra - one of my favourite places in the whole world!!! I hope we can sort it around James' work - it's a happy year that includes a good Caloundra visit!! :)
• I was thinking about houseboats the other day. I love them. I want to go on another houseboat holiday with our extended family, if we can find a fabulous big one. I can't wait! :)
• I just sent off 4 birthday cards - 3 belated :S But at least now I'm up to date! Hopefully we can stay this way!
• I just got the pictures from my fabulous surprise party and Tammy's fabulous Halloween party off her camera, yay!
• I have been to some sales recently. I LOVE sales.
• I made a new slow cooker recipe the other day, a chicken and potato curry. It was aMAZing, and gave us days of leftovers!! The best bit? I don't like curry at all!!! I just made it cause James likes it and I've never made it before... But I loved this one!!
• It's our Anniversary in 2 weeks and 1 day. I LOVE James! :) And we've nearly been married 4 years! SUCH old timers :) Every other year we've gone away for our Anniversary, but this year we managed to go to Aunty Leah's fabulous wedding in Adelaide instead. Maybe we'll go out to dinner or something. When the tax return came in I bought a few cheap nice meals at restaurants with Spreets, so maybe we'll use one of those :)
• Today I checked the mail, and we got the Bumbo, some little nappy covers I ordered for Ana a week or two ago, an engagement party invite, and a camera cord (I lost mum's :S But found a replacement well priced online thank goodness). End of mail. NO BILLS!!!! :) And nothing awful or unexpected. Lately I'm kind of nervous to check the mail, so that was exciting.
• James helped me run a weekly grocery shop last night. I don't have to run out to the shops anymore this week, yay!
• Maggie and I got up early this morning (definitely her idea!) and made pancakes for James! Yay :)
• Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:30am and realised Ana hadn't fed! So in my haste to make sure she was alive I woke her up and fed her. This morning I didn't feed her till Maggie and I got up just before 6. Awesome :)
• I borrowed some of Mum and Dad's CD's and talk tapes. I LOVE listening to them around the house.
• I am getting a tiny bit more up to date with my housework now that I'm home and focused on being efficient :) BIG yay!! :)
• I am not humongously pregnant!! I don't know how long it will take me to stop being excited about that one..
• Maggie's cold is finally clearing up, and none of the rest of us caught it, YAY!!! :)
• Mums & Bubs Christmas BBQ here Saturday - we have been so much less regular this year with all being pregnant and sick and having second babies, so it's nice to get together, and with our husbands too! Last week at Amy's house the toddlers were playing on Elijah's awesome new outdoor equipment. These ex-bubs are so big and wonderful! And we sat on the back veranda with the second babies :) It was nice. These girls have been such a wonderful and unexpected support base and friendship group since we started meeting. I'm so grateful for them! And Maggie loves them too :)
• I've been completely useless helping my parents with getting their house ready to sell (this isn't one of the things that's exciting.). We go over and I seem to make more mess with the girls than I'm cleaning up, and spend all my time worrying about them making mess and feeding them, etc. But I married James, who has been a MUCH bigger help. I'm so glad I married someone so willing to help and hard working!!! :) And who can' TOTALLY lift a fridge by himself (only single door though, right, Tammy?) lol.
• I am teaching a lesson at church on Sunday. I'm teaching Relief Society. I've never taught adults in my life, so it's kind of scary. But it's EXCITING because I have not taught for a loooong time outside the girls, and being a teacher, I've kind of been craving it. So it'll be fun to prepare a lesson. There'll be visual aids. - I don't think I'll ever let go of some of those primary school teaching bits inside of me.
• I have a treadmill. I know, I've had it for a long time, but I love it. I love using it. I love the results. I love my treadmill!
• Maggie's currently putting Elmo in the Bumbo. I keep walking in on her sitting at her little 4 seater table and chairs talking to the bears who she's placed on the 3 other chairs. I LOVE that she's becoming creative and imaginative and having so much fun playing alone as well as with other children.
• Speaking of which, Maggie and Jordan are AWESOME friends. They LOVE getting together. I don't know about Jordan, but for Maggie, I never see her play the way she plays with him, with anyone else. They just seem to 'work'. Like they read each other's little minds and know exactly what they're both going to do, and then they're off! They run around screaming, jump on and over things, into things, under things, with things, they run into each other, and they giggle the whole time. I love it :)

See wouldn't you TOTALLY be excited too?! So many reasons... :)

I'm off to clean up the traces of pancake evidence, put the roast on, and bounce off the walls a little more. Maggie'll probably participate. She loves to get excited just for the sake of it too. We'll probably have a dancing marathon while we work - we're good like that :)

Just turned around to see she's already started on the folding. What a helpful soul :)

xo

...waiting...

Just doing our thing, waiting to get 'that' phone call to tell us that Jessima's new baby is here!! I can't WAIT to find out whether it's a new little niece or nephew!! Jessima was being induced last night/this morning.

At about 10:30 Jonny called, and I yelled 'WHAT IS IT?!!!' into the phone. He said 'What's what?' and I yelled 'Don't mess with me! - Did you have a boy or a girl?!' and he said 'We didn't have anything yet' so I freaked out and yelled

'Is Jessima OK?!!!!!'

'yes'

'Then WHY are you calling me?!!!!'

'Jessima thought it would be funny'

(sigh)

:)

Nothing much was happening at that point, so they were about to put a drip in. That means that right now, Jessima's probably pretty busy! I hope it's as painless as labour can be!! Jessima had Jordan in 4 hours so I keep waiting for the news to come quickly, I hope this one's not a longer labour! Long labour is...upsetting :p

But we are so excited for the J's and the latest model! :) Sending fast, painless and safe thoughts their way xoxox

Oh, and By the Way...

Did I ever mention I got that fabulous nappy bag? In the tan. I love it. Everything has it's own spot and I never lose anything in it. It is plenty big enough without being gigantic, and it looks amazing. James loves it because it's practical and doesn't look too girly. I just love everything about it. Thankfully internet buying ninja Bec was able to find it for me for only $330 on a website including postage (thankyou!!) and Mum helped me out in getting it (thankyou!!) :) I am soooo glad I got it :) It really is fabulous :) And it has that nice smell, mmm :)

Up and Back Again!!! And a new Personal Best :)

I did it! I gave birth, again. Last time I gave birth I wrote about how I felt like I'd conquered Mt. Everest, because childbirth has terrified me my whole life - sooo not keen on pain! :P Now I feel like I've done it twice. It's the most incredible thing to go through, but the view from the top totally rocks!! (as in, the baby you give birth to..).

I really dislike reading other people's 'birth stories' because they are not pleasant and they freak me out and are often way too detailed. Maybe I won't mind after I've given birth for the last time, but while I know I've got several ahead of me, they're like horror stories that could quite possibly happen to me, so I'd rather not entertain thinking about them. If you're anything like me in this regard, stop reading now! (Although this was a pretty awesome labour...) I'm probably not going to read back on this too often, but I found with Maggie that when I wrote out my labour experience in my journal, it was like therapy, and then I didn't have to think about it anymore, but typing's faster, and I'm going to write about what happened, here.

***TO SKIP THE BIRTH PART AND JUST GET TO THE BABY BIT, STOP READING NOW, AND FIND ANOTHER BIT LIKE THIS FURTHER DOWN!!***

So at 32 weeks I was sent to get a growth scan because the doctor wasn't sure the baby was as big as she 'should be'. When I got the scan, they said she was in the 3rd percentile for size, and was about 2 weeks behind in growth. At 20 weeks she had been kind of average, so they decided to do weekly scans and make sure baby was still growing. By 36 weeks (going to the hospital twice a week for scans and appointments) she had reached the 19th percentile in size, so they stopped scanning me, although I still had weekly doctors appointments at the hospital. They decided to do a final scan just before my due date, because if she was still small they didn't want me to go too far past my due date without being induced.

I was due on Monday 9th May, and on Friday 6th I went in for my scan. James had been to I think every appointment until that one, but he had a prac lead-in day, so he didn't make it. In the scan I noticed that baby was measuring about 35 weeks, and then when I saw the doctor and he graphed her growth, he looked alarmed, and said she'd barely grown since the previous scans, and that he wanted to induce me as soon as possible. He went to check with 'the bosses' when they could book me in, and I sat there freaking out and thinking how much I wished James had come with me!! When the doctor came back he booked me to come in on the Sunday night, to be induced then/Monday morning. He told me all about being induced and then sent me on my freaking out little way.

It was kind of good in one sense being booked in, because James was starting his big teaching prac on Monday 9th, my due date, so at least he could tell the school for sure which days he needed off, instead of being on call for the first part of his prac, which may have been distracting.

I spend the weekend freaking out, then on Sunday night James gave me a blessing, we dropped our precious Maggie girl at Mum and Dad's for her first ever sleepover (she loved it of course!), and headed up to the hospital.

They began inducing me Sunday night with the gel, which some women go into labour from, but I didn't (I couldn't stop shaking all night I was so scared - my labour with Maggie was a little tiny bit awful and long, and just sitting there waiting for it to 'kick in' was terrifying for me!). Just after 6am they took me into the birthing suite, and broke my waters. By 7:30am I was starting to have some real contractions, and at 7:50 they started me on 'Synto' which is a hormone I think, which makes your body really go into labour. At least it did with me! The midwife started me on a dose of 3ml/hr, then went up to 6ml/hr at 8:20, then turned it off completely at 9:05 because my contractions were going insane. He said though, that he had a lady at 72ml/hr the other day, so those were pretty low doses. Apparently each labour, you need less, because your body makes more, so if I ever get induced again, I'll ask for none!! :)

Anyway, I don't know what time, and I can't remember whether or not I already had the Synto in me, we were sitting there having a nice old chat with the midwife. I had just found out I was 4cm dilated and was ecstatic, because with Maggie it took me 2 days of waaaaaay worse contractions than I was having to get me to 4cm, and I was totally handling it, thinking 'Heck! I won't need any drugs if this keeps up!'.

[Side story: We actually noticed the midwife's surname was Allred, and he had a pretty religious first name too, and he was from America (everyone from America seems like a church member... plus he was clean cut and wearing a wedding ring lol), so we asked him if he was any relation to Sylvia Allred. He leaned back and said 'Noooooo.. but I enjoyed her last talk at General Conference' lol. So we asked what ward he was in, and he's in the next Stake over, and we told him our ward and he mentioned he was the Stake Executive Secretary in his stake, so he had wondered how we were members whose names he didn't know cause he knows most of the names in his Stake, and then James said 'Hey Abby's uncle is Stake President of that stake' and I clicked, and it turns out he works with my uncle a lot, and he said he actually met Dad the other day, and I had a moment of 'Oh no, I could see this guy again one day and I have to give birth in front of him! And it's a him!' but don't worry - by the time I was giving birth I was dying so much I didn't care, plus he was an awesome midwife, so it was great, and just nice to know he knew where we were coming from a bit. And he was totally not weird. Plus he was like a buddy for James - they enjoyed laughing at me together when I got really high on the gas..]

ANYWAY, so there we are having our chat, and he was asking about my previous labour, and he asked at what stage of the labour I had the drugs (I had a lot of everything), and I told him how long I'd been in labour and yadiyada. The contractions were getting worse quickly, and then I went to the bathroom, and I had 4 death to the world contractions, and came out begging for the epidural.

At this point I kind of felt like I'd failed, because I needed it already - it had come on soooo fast!! But the midwife was like 'I'll send for it right away, it's okay Abby we're all about helping you with the pain here!' but I kept apologising but begging for it too lol. They put me on the gas right away while I was waiting. I didn't like the gas at all when I was in labour with Maggie, but the epidural this time seemed to be taking ages, and my contractions were going nuts and I was sitting on the edge of the bed ready for when the epidural came, and I heard Israel say 'Take a deep breath now, Abby... and another... and another', and it was like a little thing I could concentrate on, so I suddenly got super high, and clung to the gas like crazy. Apparently I was saying a lot of pretty crazy things to everyone in the room. The midwife said 'Do you know what planet you're on, Abby?' and I remember thinking 'Is he stupid?' So I told him I was on Earth, duh.

A doctor came to tell me risks or whatever and I told him in no uncertain terms that I wanted it, no matter what, now. Then finally (after lots of desperate begging on my part, - they had to call him twice) the anaesthetist came but it seemed to be taking forever for him to get ready. My room was being renovated, and a couple of things he needed were missing and they had to send down to the pharmacy for something, and then it seemed to take forever for him to put it in! So I was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to hold still, while I was going through awful contractions, and I kept thinking surely it would be the last contraction I'd feel! The epidural with Maggie seemed to take 2 seconds - it was all done between 2 contractions I think, so this was agony!! I was dying. And James said I was very blunt, and kept calling out 'Epi Man! What's the problem?!! Why can I still feel everything! I can still feel everything, please hurry up Epi Man, please hurry up, hurry up!!' Which probably didn't help the poor guy!! :S When he first arrived I told him I loved him though. I also, in my very high state, told one of the midwifes who came while my midwife was on a break and was telling me to 'breathe' to 'Shush!!', I told the other two that I liked them a lot. I told them I loved Maggie and the baby, but 'James the most!', and apparently I got very protective of the gas and wouldn't let anyone touch it even though I kept declaring I hated it and couldn't imagine why people got high because I felt awful and like I was going to be sick. Apparently I also made James hold my feet, and then kept kicking him in the face during contractions and a bunch of other weird stuff.

Anyway, when the guy finally got the epidural in my back (second time lucky apparently - he put it in once and it wasn't right so he did it again, eek! And I was having crazy contractions so I was moving a tiny bit, as hard as I was trying not to, I feel so blessed I had no bad effects!!), they all helped me turn so they could hook it up to the machine, and then the head midwife lady (who James thinks our midwife called because he was worried I was going to get paralysed by the epidural guy) said to our midwife 'She's pushing!!' and then they ran around and threw a couple of things to each other and the head was out, and then they said to push, and I could hear James saying the head was out, and I said 'Are you sure?! Am I dilated?' and they said 'Yes, push!' and then the whole baby was suddenly out!!!! (I gotta say, 3 and a half hours, even without the epidural, TOTALLY rocks compared to 3 days with all the drugs!! Posterior babies are awful to give birth to, I'm going to be a crazy sit forward person every pregnancy from now on)

And then they put her on my chest and I burst into tears and for the next 5 minutes I kept saying "Oh I love her so much! Where's the epidural?! She's so beautiful, but I can still feel everything! Where's the epidural!!" and I think it took a few minutes for the gas to get out of my system and for me to get over the fact that the epidural never got hooked up, and to realise that my wonderful, perfect, beautiful daughter was really there, all born, finished!!! Also, the horrible pain was gone, because I was no longer in labour lol.

***YOU CAN START READING NOW, I'VE HAD THE BABY...***

She was born at 10:52am, and we named her Anamaria Sophia. We named her Anamaria because James wanted a Maori name, and I don't know the language or anything, but most of the names were difficult to pronounce, and I didn't want her to have to repeat it for everyone a million times her whole life, I wanted people to be able to say it. Anyway, the name is used by Maoris, and it's the exotic pronounciation, although already most people call her Anna instead of Ana, which I guess she'll get her whole life after all :P And Sophia is James' Mum's name. Everyone thinks we're into Spanish names lol! :) But there it is.

Ana was 6 pounds 13 (only half an ounce less than Maggie - so not underweight!) and healthy and strong. I remember James crying out to me "She's crying right away! Abby, she's crying!!" which is exciting because Maggie had to be resuscitated, so it was awesome that she was all good :) Her head circumference was 34cm, and she was 49cm long (2 and a half shorter than Maggie). Although Ana's not as startlingly like James, she looks a lot like Maggie, so we think people will definitely be able to tell that they're sisters, lucky because I think they're both beautiful :)

I don't usually put photos on this blog (I can invite you to my private blog for further viewing if you let me know!! I will soon be flooding it with Ana pictures :)), but here's our new little family:

We were so fortunate in our midwife! At the end he even pulled a few strings to let us stay in the birth suite for an extra hour so Mum could bring Maggie up to meet her little sister, because visiting hours in the wards were over. Maggie was wonderful, and she adored Ana from the start. She's uber over-protective, and the first one to make a move if Ana starts crying! The only problem is that Ana needs to be subtlety rescued from being completely smothered quite often, because Maggie just wants to lie with/on her and cuddle and kiss her.

I can't even tell you how happy we are to have little Ana join our family - we really, really love her :) How awesome is having a family?!! :)

I'm worried this entry is jumbled and I may come back and edit it later but I just wanted to finally get it up. We are so happy and we love our little baby girls so much!! :)

Maybe just a dream... (sigh)

Have you ever really, really, really, really wanted something super, uber expensive, even though you could probably pick up a much less desirable, much less good quality, much less useful but probably 'okay' one for like, $400 less, or free?

(sigh..)

But you really, really, really want the $420 version (sigh).

Oh, and you're not rich.

But you're okay, and you could sort of manage to get it, but it would mean obviously cutting out other things that may be a lot more important.. (sigh).

But it's a really good one, and will last forever, and goodness knows you'll use it!!

I want a Storksak Elizabeth (sigh)...

If you've ever been really nappy bag shopping, you'll know what I'm talking about. The rest of you will just think I'm a bit obsessed with an over-expensive handbag.

With Maggie we had a big, very cute bag to be a nappy bag, but our plan is to pop out a bunch more children over the next 10 years or so, and I want a nice nappy bag, that can double as my handbag, that's got all the pockets so I have a place for all of the nappy stuff and never lose anything in it like I did all the time with our other bag, that can go over the bars of our pram so I can stop shoving it in the bottom tray.

I have done a lot of research, and the bag that continues to pop up in my searches is the Storksak Elizabeth.

It comes in many colours, but my favourites are..

The chocolate brown:


tan:


Or 'Lizard'.



The chocolate is on sale on one website for $350, so I was definitely leaning towards it. I can't find the tan any cheaper than $420. The lizard is their latest, and RRP's for $470, so I was not even interested in it, but I found a brand new one on ebay last week that goes off this Wednesday night, that's $265 at the moment, so it went on my shortlist.

They're all leather, apparently they last forever and age beautifully, and all the reviews say they LOVE that they never lose anything in it - awesome :) AND that they look like a handbag :)

Mum's always bought me beautiful, good quality handbags growing up, maybe I'm just spoilt in the handbag department, but I kind of miss it.

James thinks I should go for it and buy one already, and I find myself thinking 'Yeah! It'll be totally useful, it's awesome!! But then I get a strong guilt complex thinking about spending hundreds of dollars on a bag (hard to imagine lol).

Anyway, I just thought I'd share my woes with the world/the maybe 2 and a half people who ever look at this blog.

(sigh)

Wait are my ankles fat?

Hello :)

It's been a looong time since I last posted, mostly because I've been devestatingly morning sick and pregnant :) (just read back on the entry I wrote here - basically that's exactly what I'd say all over again if I had time :)) (okay cut the school passages, maybe insert 'looking after Maggie' instead?? I am also slightly less emotionally crazy, probably because I'm looking after one beautifully behaved, always sweet and kind child instead of 28 children who may not always have been 100% as well behaved as Maggie, or at least not all at the same time!) I am in a huge rush and don't really have time to blog, but I really should blog sometime, and I just remembered something funny :)

By the way though, we are over the moon, LOVE Maggie like crazy and couldn't bear to put off doubling the fun so we are so happy and excited and it hasn't taken a year and a half to be pregnant this time!! :) I am due May 9th, so Maggie will already be about 16 months old - I'm just over 13 weeks pregnant at the moment :)

Morning sickness is like.... death.... but I'm starting to have heaps of good days, so I think I'm nearly through the worst!! I wrote more about this on my private blog the other day :)

Anyway, last night I had a dream that I had kankles again!! Already!!! (I wrote extensively about them here). I've been up for a long time, and JUST realised it was a dream!! The relief!!! Last time I was at least 6 months pregnant before I had them I'm pretty sure. I'm barely showing yet this time, so I was (in my dream) a little bit droopy about the whole business, and am greatly relieved to find out that it was, in fact, a dream :)

This time around I have my front line of putting-on-30kg-during-pregnancy defence: a treadmill!! :) Am excited hopefully to have 'less to lose' on the other end this time. Wish me luck!!

Summary:
- pregnant
- super happy and excited to be pregnant :)
- have been in hell, but am recovering nicely, thankyou
- James and my family have been wonderful (thought I'd put that in the summary since I forgot it in the main body, even though I know there's not really meant to be any new info here, sorry!)
- do not yet have kankles :)

The New Me

Since I've been a mum, in some ways I'm a completely different person.

In some ways I feel stronger. I've always been a total wuss. Pretty much anyone can attest to that, but if you want an extremely heartfelt testimony of it, just ask James, who is baffled by my constant nightmares and assurances that he needs to check the cupboards and the bathtub in the middle of the night in case anyone's in there. Since Maggie though, if I hear a sound in the night that completely freaks me out, there's no hesitation for me running to see if she's okay, not even sending James first, and I feel like if anything was going wrong I'd be the first to throw myself in front of her and do whatever it takes. I've had some seriously action movie dreams since her birth, and for the first time in my life they don't involve me hiding somewhere while James saves the day. I just feel like 'Don't you dare mess with my daughter'. SO NOT in my pre-Maggie nature!!!

I also care less what a lot of people think about whatever I'm doing with Maggie, because suddenly I seem to know what I'm doing - not with babies in general, just with Maggie. I even feel like I know what to do with her better a lot of the time even than my mother(!), which is a huge shock, cause she's always been super-mum. I still go to her for advice (a lot!), but I feel like 'I got this' a lot too. I didn't know much about babies before her, but it's amazing how you just know all of a sudden!!

It is a lot harder than I had anticipated, to give 'tough love'. Not that I want to be tough with Maggie (at all), but even letting her cry a little when she's going down, or not carrying her 100% of the time if she's just sooking. I do it - I let her cry a little here and there, and I'm okay with it, but sometimes it just breaks your heart! I've sat next to her bassinet in the middle of the night in tears while I let her cry it out - that gorgeous little carefully-designed-to-trigger-the-'RESCUE!'-reflex cry!! (On the upside, she's in her cot, sleeping through now again!)

I am a sooook!! I cry at the drop of a hat. I went to a wedding last weekend and cried in every speech! I see a woman close to giving birth and I cry! Someone says something nice to someone else and I cry! And of course anything parental. Parents send their kid off to college in some B-grade movie, pull out the tissues, please! It's bizzare! I am NOT up for anything actually sad for a while, I don't know what I'd do!! When we ('finally', James would say) moved Maggie into her own cot the other night, I sat on the couch and burst into tears, cause she was 'S-s-s-so-soooo far away!!!!'. Does this go away when I stop breastfeeding??

I love Maggie an insane amount!!! I am trying so hard not to be one of 'those mums', but the fact that I have to try, baffles me. When I was teaching, I looked at all the parents and knew I'd be one of the level headed responsible ones who let their children learn to deal with life, and who was okay to 'let go'. I think I'll still pull it off, but I may have to have James in the background, holding me back. Ah the thought of Maggie starting school, sob!

I'm also a lot fatter, but we're working on that - It's not as easy to zip the last 6 kilos off as I thought, but I'll do it, then get fat and pregnant again, as now is my life :) (happy tear!)

Lol.