The New Me

Since I've been a mum, in some ways I'm a completely different person.

In some ways I feel stronger. I've always been a total wuss. Pretty much anyone can attest to that, but if you want an extremely heartfelt testimony of it, just ask James, who is baffled by my constant nightmares and assurances that he needs to check the cupboards and the bathtub in the middle of the night in case anyone's in there. Since Maggie though, if I hear a sound in the night that completely freaks me out, there's no hesitation for me running to see if she's okay, not even sending James first, and I feel like if anything was going wrong I'd be the first to throw myself in front of her and do whatever it takes. I've had some seriously action movie dreams since her birth, and for the first time in my life they don't involve me hiding somewhere while James saves the day. I just feel like 'Don't you dare mess with my daughter'. SO NOT in my pre-Maggie nature!!!

I also care less what a lot of people think about whatever I'm doing with Maggie, because suddenly I seem to know what I'm doing - not with babies in general, just with Maggie. I even feel like I know what to do with her better a lot of the time even than my mother(!), which is a huge shock, cause she's always been super-mum. I still go to her for advice (a lot!), but I feel like 'I got this' a lot too. I didn't know much about babies before her, but it's amazing how you just know all of a sudden!!

It is a lot harder than I had anticipated, to give 'tough love'. Not that I want to be tough with Maggie (at all), but even letting her cry a little when she's going down, or not carrying her 100% of the time if she's just sooking. I do it - I let her cry a little here and there, and I'm okay with it, but sometimes it just breaks your heart! I've sat next to her bassinet in the middle of the night in tears while I let her cry it out - that gorgeous little carefully-designed-to-trigger-the-'RESCUE!'-reflex cry!! (On the upside, she's in her cot, sleeping through now again!)

I am a sooook!! I cry at the drop of a hat. I went to a wedding last weekend and cried in every speech! I see a woman close to giving birth and I cry! Someone says something nice to someone else and I cry! And of course anything parental. Parents send their kid off to college in some B-grade movie, pull out the tissues, please! It's bizzare! I am NOT up for anything actually sad for a while, I don't know what I'd do!! When we ('finally', James would say) moved Maggie into her own cot the other night, I sat on the couch and burst into tears, cause she was 'S-s-s-so-soooo far away!!!!'. Does this go away when I stop breastfeeding??

I love Maggie an insane amount!!! I am trying so hard not to be one of 'those mums', but the fact that I have to try, baffles me. When I was teaching, I looked at all the parents and knew I'd be one of the level headed responsible ones who let their children learn to deal with life, and who was okay to 'let go'. I think I'll still pull it off, but I may have to have James in the background, holding me back. Ah the thought of Maggie starting school, sob!

I'm also a lot fatter, but we're working on that - It's not as easy to zip the last 6 kilos off as I thought, but I'll do it, then get fat and pregnant again, as now is my life :) (happy tear!)

Lol.

My Visiting Teacher

My lovely visiting teacher brought over this huge basket of fruit and chocolates when she came to visit the other night! I just had to take a photo, it was amazing, we are still eating through the fruit, and, if you can believe it there are still a couple of mint slice biscuits left, but not for long :)

Couches!!!

Yes, the surprise is new couches! We were very blessed to be given couches when we got married. We were actually blessed to be given almost everything we needed when we got married! The couches have been very useful and we were grateful to have them, but now are super ecstatic to be replacing them!!!!

James found the old couches uncomfortable and I didn't like the look of them, so couches have been on the dream list for ages, but I really didn't think we'd be able to get them for at least another year.

Last Wednesday we decided to go 'dream couch shopping' for the future. We walked in and on the left was a set of perfectly good couches on a fabulous sale! James said "If I can talk them down another $100 can we get them?" and even though he only talked them down $99 we got them :)

We both really wanted leather couches (practical - kids), and I really wanted light coloured couches, because I'm so sick of the dark colour in here, and so I have an 'empty palette' onto which I can place cushions, throw rugs, whatever, to colour the room whichever colours I want, yay!!! So they're not flash or anything - I guess they're probably some of the most budget leather couches you can get, but I LOVE them so much!!!! And James likes them too :) (he's the one who really wanted to buy them on the spot :) Otherwise I would've been all careful and possibly regreted it later :)) Anyway, here they are! A 3 seater and a 2 seater. I obviously haven't decided on a colour scheme and got 'accessories' yet, but Maggie's little pink blanket and hippo are in the corner or the 3 seater at the time of photo!



And even though I don't usually put Maggie photos in this blog I couldn't resist her couch model pose - she crossed her legs herself lol. See how comfy she makes them look? :)

Surprise!

Made an extremely amazing and landmark purchase today! - Will let you in on it when it arrives and I can take photos. So excited!!! :)

Tonight...

Tonight James got home from work, and dinner was still an hour way (this is approximately how behind schedule I am almost every day, yet it never seems to stop being a surprise, sigh).

Maggie was down, and soon came back up again for a little while before being really down.

Adele dropped off the new Stampin Up stamps I ordered (which I need to give my parents to give to me for my birthday in October, yay!), then we had a nice dinner together (yeah, not even going to tell you what I made, because my blog lately has been a little too boring - too much food and cooking and...vacuuming maybe), and then we almost snuggled to watch a movie :) I say 'almost' because as soon as I put the DVD in, and the little loop on the 'menu' page started playing, and I heard the scary music, I decided I'd spend the night 'around' James, rather than 'with' him, watching the movie. It's been nice.

My family are all up the coast on a getaway weekend and I'm happy knowing that they're there, they're staying where we always do, and it's so nice there! Dad's about to plunge into tax season, Tammy's up to her ears as usual, and Mum's always crazy busy, and the twins .... yeah, so it's nice that they all get this break :)

The J's are up there housesitting also, so a nice relax for them (yay no dentistering, Jug!), and a great cruise for Michelle and Derek!! :)

James finished his last exam this week, which is wonderful! I think he did really well this semester (That's my man!) :) For the next couple of weeks he'll be working full time, and then we get a week's break and then back into next semester!! It's so nice to live as I do now without one assignment or another hovering constantly beyond the horizon! It's nice that James doesn't have that for a little bit.

I really need to do some catchup on my little Maggie blog, but can't decide out of about 200 (narrowed down) pictures of camp, so am procrastinating. Mum, it's quite hard not to open my birthday present early, it would be a fun procrastinating task!

I also have some catch up on this blog, but again, procrastination wins the day.

Anyway, I'll try to break the cycle and get on to Maggie's blog. I hope this movie finishes shortly - I need to play some happy music before I go to bed..

PS: This movie, has got to have every single scary sound every invented in Hollywood in it - I swear, the slow bass beat hasn't stopped since I put the DVD in!! Ugh, chills. I'm so glad I'm not watching - James just emphatically assured me I would hate it. Who knew orchestra's could make some of the world's best AND some of the world's most awful, scary, horrible music?! Okay well me, technically, but who wants to listen to that?!

On That Note...

...we also got something last weekend, that I'm really, really, really excited about :) I've wanted one for a long time, and maybe you think it's sad that I'm this excited about a vacuum cleaner, but I do love all things housewifey. I love dressing for and having cool equipment for things. Yes Tammy - I'd love that pink frilly apron sometime to wear around the house and to match the lovely pink cooking utensils you gave me. I love the little pink excercise towel and sweat band James got me with the weights to work out with. I love wearing house cleaning clothes to clean the house, and aprons for cooking, excercise clothes for jogging, etc. But believe it or not, THIS vacuum cleaner is about a whole lot more than my image of a good housewife. It actually works!! When we got married we got a vacuum cleaner from off the side of the road and I sort of hate it, with a passion. In fact, for the last 3 years our floor has only gotten vacuumed when James gets so sick of it not being vacuumed that he vacuums for me, because I really don't like our vacuum cleaner. It's annoying, and annoying, and doesn't actually work, so there wasn't that much of a point vacuuming anyway!

The Good Guys were having a massive stocktake sale. This I know because I heard it on the radio that we have on 24/7 in our house lately, because Maggie goes to sleep to noise, and our CD player broke, and we often don't get around to turning it off inbetween Maggie's naps. Anyway, I grew up with a Dyson and I loved it, and I have been unrighteously coveting my parents' for the last 3 years. They're usually about $600-$900 new though, and that's a lot (okay, if you heard the story about me buying that Kirby for $4000 that was different, and I was tired and they wouldn't leave and I was pregnant and there was a cooling off period, thank goodness). I looked at our finances and we came up with a little budget, even though there wasn't much chance of them having one that cheap there. We went in, and found the Dysons all lined up, ranging from only $500!!!! This was a lot beyond our budget. We had a lovely look at them but I was a little sad. Not totally, because I kinda expected not to be able to afford one. Then, we decided to walk around the other vacuums, and there was a whole little stand on the other side of the vacuum display, of a bunch of Dysons exactly in our price range!!! So we got one!!! Haven't got a name for it yet, but I am going to vacuum soooo often! I love it! Our carpets are soooo clean! If you're over, feel free to lick any spilt food off the carpet. Don't worry - it's clean :) And if you drop some crumbs, no sweat - I'll probably vacuum in a minute anyway.

Finally a Real Woman!

What could be more housewifey than making chicken pie for dinner?!! It's so delightfully housewifey, I feel like I've reached a landmark in the world of womanhood. Like one of those 'becomming a man' ceremonies some cultures have when boys are 12 and can finally hunt on their own or something. That's how I felt when I placed it on the table for dinner - I made it to womanhood!! Yay! :) Friends of our came over for dinner the other night and she brought an apple crumble she'd made from scratch - I don't think I've ever eaten one with homecooked apple and everything - we're all growing up! :) And now that Maggie's on solids I've been blending all sorts of 'from scratch' baby foods and I get all excited when I taste them and they taste like 'the real thing' :) Finally a real woman :)