Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What is Romance? Really.

It’s our anniversary tomorrow! 4 Years of wedded bliss!! In some cultures (like Hollywood), that’s actually quite impressive, but please don't all contact me at once for marriage advice.

So what to do to celebrate?! Every other year we've gone up the coast for a weekend or so for our anniversary, last year with Maggie too, which was fun! This year we decided to go to Adelaide for my Aunty's wedding back in September instead, so what to do tomorow to mark the fact that once again, it'll be the 23rd of November, and we're intact! - And happy!! :)

I have often, in the past for special occasions done a really nice dinner. I decorate the table and put candles out, and we eat in the 'flickering candlelight'. I was contemplating what to cook for our special dinner tomorow night, when I suddenly wondered what was with the candles anyway? They're pretty around the place and I love seeing a bunch of them lit at parties or weddings, but when I light the candles for a 'romantic' dinner at home, it just seems weird. And we sit there discussing our days (because who really participates in weird romantic talk at the dinner table) in the semi dark, and miss seeing half the mess Maggie's made until it's stuck on like glue. After dinner there's lots of extra cleaning up to do, by which time we're exhausted (this sometimes happens after just a little bit of mess too!), and plans for a board game or movie go out the window. AND it's not really fun, at all.

So why do I do it?! I've seen it on movies. I've read about it.... I've just realised, maybe it's not actually our kinda romance. I know, I'm a little slow. Thank goodness I have eternity to figure everything else out!

If you LOVE the beautiful ambiance created by candles and little heart confetti all over the table, and LOVE sitting at the dinner table in said flickering candlelight whispering sweet nothings to each other, that's awesome! - For starters, you totally don't have my dilemma. But if you'd like to do something cool...and cheap...and at home with the kids, and you've just realised candlelight and a fancy dinner doesn't do it for you, what to do?

So I tried to think of what I enjoy the most. It's sad, but it's true. As much as I am the driving force behind 'We should sit up at the table every night and eat dinner together as a family!' - And I really believe in doing that, especially as children get older and it's the main time in a day that you spend together and bond together as a family, and I could go on but it wouldn't be very romantic.. - my dream evening with James would have to be eating food that was not prepared

1) by me,

2) in my kitchen, making extra mess for me to clean up later.

My favourite times are going out to dinner, or getting fish & chips or fasta pasta and eating it on the couch in front of a movie. I don't particularly enjoy putting the house back together, so I would refrain from moving it out of place in the beginning.

And as for anniversary gifts? Well maybe it's because we're on a budget and can't just go out and buy whatever we want most of the time, but something on my 'list of things I need to buy in turn when the budget allows' would be awesome, IF we were to get presents. James mentioned this morning that he needed to get to the shops quickly to get something for *cough* our anniversary *cough* (he can't drive at the moment so he HAD to tell me so he could get a ride lol), and I feel like I've already had the gift, cause I know he was planning on getting me something, so now he can save his money, not get me a lovely piece of anniversary jewellery that would be absolutely beautiful, and make me feel special, but more great if we had money growing on trees on our little back veranda, and know that I am very grateful that he was planning on getting me something. Having grown up in a home where Dad bought Mum home flowers every other day because she loves them so much, and he loves her so much, I DO kind of have a weakness for flowers - it's like the just mean 'love', so a $6 bunch of bright blooms from Woolies really float my boat. I guess all I need to know is that James cared enough to want to put in an effort and I'm done. So I guess I've already been gifted.

I guess I'll have a chat with James and find out if the candlelit dinners are what have been keeping him around for the last 4 years, but since he's the big advocate of couch eating, I have a feeling that he's been enjoying our fabulous romantic dinners as much as me!

So what's YOUR romance? Any ideas for me?!


talz said...

I totally agree with the idea of eating out or ordering take away, not having to cook!
I plan, shop for & prepare every meal, every day... so having an evening off duty is amazing! Even better if husband takes care of the planning/choosing where we go to eat. I like to just not even have to think about it. We don't share an overtly romantic relationship - it's a lot more playful. But I really like to be courted, so my favourite is when Marshall comes up with the idea for a date and does the planning and I just have to dress pretty and be there :) romance as portrayed in movies today is pretty unrealistic.. I think you just have to find what works for you and what feels natural and makes you feel happy :)

Sandy M. said...

My husband and I like loonnng walks along a sandy beach.. :)

Sandy M. said...

Seriously though :) I think that doing something a little bit different often feels romantic. Like.. having take-away for dinner when you usually don't, and eating on the lounge instead of up at the table. And unselfishly taking care of each other :)

Love you both :)
Happy Anniversary!!! :)


Bec and Michael said...

Um...(1) when Husband walks past and gives me a quick foot-rub - without me asking!
(2) when Husband mows the lawn for me - without me asking!
(3) when Husband happily carves an orchid off a tree for me so that I can bring it home and attach it to my 'orchid tree' :)

Basically, when Husband does something really nice just for me without expecting anything in return :)

Cassie said...

Try a picnic in the backyard! It's not something you do everyday and you can still get takeaway. I'm sure it will keep the kidlets pretty happy too. I don't see much point to candles either, they take so much effort for not really any reward. And as someone who loves to cook, takeaway for special occasions sounds really good! (It's Cassie Rymar BTW)