Friday, August 20, 2010

'Copious Confiding'

There's a blog I sometimes drop in on, by a lady in America with 5 children whose parents write books on parenting, and I have one she co-wrote with her Mum and saw her blog address in it. I read a post she wrote today, had to comment, and now feel like sharing. Her post is here.

It's about how she saw a mother and daughter in a waiting room, and the daughter was 'copiously confiding' - telling her Mum EVERYTHING about her life. THe blog author was saying how she wants that kind of relationship with her daughters one day.

Here's the comment I wrote. Sorry about the first paragraph Tammy - but let's face it you've always been kinda perfect :)

"When I was a teenager I drew away from my Mum a little as the hormones kicked in, and she was really close to my big sister who I had a hard time living up to, so I guess I turned to friends. We had a good relationship generally, but not a 'copious confiding' one. When I was about 16 my big sister went overseas to study (at BYU) and my relationship with my wonderful mother bloomed. Now I'm married with a little baby and barely go a day without calling once or even 3 times to catch up, chat, ask housekeeping or 'mum' questions, etc. We are (and my sisters) so close, and she is my best friend besides my husband.

"THE SECRET: Even though we didn't always have this relationship my Mum was ALWAYS there - like Heavenly Father :) Even if I had been rude or mean or pushed her away or whatever, she has always been there, my biggest supporter. I love talking to her and hearing her advice and support, and hopefully being as good a friend to her as she is to me. I hope I can have this relationship with my kids one day, it's one of the most important things in my life.

"I should mention Mum never let me get away with anything and if I was doing anything wrong she would NOT let up! :) It's because of that that I trust her so much. SHe's the best kind of Mum & friend."

Just thought I'd share that becuase I LOVE MY MUM SO MUCH and she is a wonderful friend and mother and person. I am grateful that I have such a wonderful Mum to be Maggie's Gran!

(Wedding photos courtesy of Deep Grey. Maggie photo courtesy of me..;))

Do you have a wonderful Mother?


J said...

Wow Maggie looks so much like James in that photo. Its nice to hear the lovely relationship you have with your Mother Abby. I once had a emotional break down moment with to Brent. I was crying with fear that if I didn't build a good enough relationship with my boys now they may not want to be around me when they are adults. Lets face it we are not raising them for them to forget us when we old :) I got over that feeling though, but at the time it was very real.
PS I like your Mum too

Adlewiess said...

So totally agree with your post Abby - your mum is absolutley amazing (truly truly truly) and I've always looked up to your family and the wonderufl examples you are of everything that's good and right? ANd I'm so happy to hear that you and your mum are such best friends - its what Heavenly Father's plan is all about hey - family. You are so awesome and did such a GREAT job creating gorgeous little Maggie - she is absolutley delicious in this photo!!! xxx

Sandy M. said...

I loved it when you and I became so close when you were about 16. You are definitely one of my best friends too, (besides Dad and along with everyone else - I'm not choosing favourites here, Oliver :) and I love and admire you so much Abby. You have brought so much sunshine and goodness into our lives. You're amazingly wonderful as a daughter, and I am so very grateful that we got to have you in our family! You are fun, and interesting and entertaining, but most of all, I know what a good heart you have, and how much you aim to do what is right. It's easy to be your supporter. We love you so much, Abs :)


Bethany said...

I have a wonderful Mummy too!!!!!!
I'd say that my Mummy was better than your Mummy but there's really no point seeings as their the same person :)
I guess you were my Tammy from when you were 16 onwards. And then by the time you got married and moved out when I was 17, Tammy was back and could continue filling that space! But I still love you both :) lol jks :P
I really do love Mum so much! She's the best mum in the world and such a wonderful example to us. I hope we all end up like her!
Love you Mummy :) xoxox
And nice post Absy xo

Tammy Lorna said...

Oh Abby, I was so NOT perfect!

I'm glad your life got better when I moved to another country, though... lol!

xo Tammy

PS. Bring on Tim McGraw! :)

Kate said...

Abby I still remember in Grade 6 - I had been sick for a while but SO desperately wanted to come to your party - and so my mum packed me up with my nebuliser and sent me on my way for the sleepover. Your mum was just wonderful for taking such great care of me and making sure I felt comfortable the whole night, and it was a great night :) Even though at the time I probably didn't say it but a HUGE THANKS to your mum :) Even though I ended up in hospital a few days later on, I am so glad that I was able to come and enjoy your party even with what turned out to be pneumonia!! :P So yes, your mum IS as wonderful as you say - all our mums are :)

Tammy Lorna said...

I love this post, and I think mum is absolutely amazing :)

I also think it's time you wrote another post on your blog.... it's been a long time since you have.... lol!

xo Tammy

Kaili said...

This is a lovely post Abby, and I have no doubt that you will have the same close relationship with your own children, because its plain to see that you are a wonderful dedicated mother! x

Naomi said...

totally lovely blog post Abby - you do have a wonderful mum! Naomi x

Iv said...

Funny enough, that's the blog I discovered your mom through, Abby, and have to agree with all the sentiments you've expressed. Your mom (and dad) have truly cultivated the most amazing spirit of love and joy in their family and I'm sure they thrill to see that you and your siblings' relationships reflect that same binding strength and joy, with each other and with their own growing families. I feel similarly about my mom. It's a beautiful thing to witness! And a daunting responsibility to have, but how lucky are we to have such grand examples? Keep up the great work!