Fitness Challenge: Week 3

I am 1 kg less than last week!!! :)

That makes me the weight I got down to after having Maggie. So I've lost all of my Ana baby weight, and I have 4 to lose to get down to how I was before Maggie. Sadly I was a few kg's up when I became pregnant with Maggie, so all up I've got 5kg's to lose until I reach my goal weight, or 6 or 7 before I'm ecstatically happy with my weight and can definitely fit into everything I want to :) - And 9 more weeks to do it in!!!! :)

This week when James asked me to do step-ups onto our coffee table carrying an insane amount of weight I again told him that I could not do it - but this time I was impressively accurate in my prediction. I was trying not to argue and annoy him, and to trust him, but he got sick of lifting my wobbling form up onto the coffee table and down again (he's a great spotter), so he gave me the next weight down - about 5kg's off, and I was able to struggle through it on my own. He did seem very puzzled - apparently I really should be able to do it, but I guess that I'm not as staggeringly strong as I must look!!! :) Also, I upgraded to 30 lady push-ups a session instead of 30 table push-ups. If I ever get to comfortable with these, by my very intricate calculations the next step is man push-ups, so must be careful never to divulge comfort levels to PT.

My muscle definition continues to impress me - I have muscles in my arms, legs and back. Now that I think about it, it's quite beyond me why I'm not getting any comments on my hugeness. Maybe I intimidate people.

My stomach is still quite er...swollen...and saggy. Actually it's becoming increasingly saggy as the fat under it eats iteslf. James has poked my belly and declared there's not much he can do for me there - he thinks there's still womb sticking out because (under the layers of fat which we definitely can do something about) it's hard. I think there's a possibility that it's just my huge abs chilling out under there, but we'll see. Hm, what detail!

Onto happier and less graphic pastures - all week I kept 'saving' my treat, positive that something fabulous would come up, but sadly I got to Saturday and realised I hadn't had a treat, and I had no time (or inclination) to cook anything yummy!!! James wanted apple crumble for his treat (that's practically fruit salad!) which I was not having - actually wanting a treat that isn't disguised as - and cousin to - healthy food. We grabbed some things at the shops on Saturday afternoon and I grabbed a Wittakers Peanut Slab for my treat. That's all. My entire treat. I love these, but it was nothing compared to my massive bowl of profiteroles last week, I really need to be more organised in this department to ward off disappointment. James ate an entire apple crumble and tub of cream on Saturday night. I think it helped him with his calorie count. Tonight we're having some girls over for Family Home Evening and Tim Tam slams. I am going to buy plenty of Tim Tams and Milo to make this week's treat way more the-only-treat-I-get-in-a-whole-week worthy.

3 weeks down and in all sincerity I feel awesome - picking things up off the floor, dancing around the house, walking around for hours at the family fun day we went to on Saturday, running around with Maggie - all so much easier and more fun!!! I feel healthier - making sure I drink at least 2.5L a day I think helps with this... I guess the no junk food thing miiight contribute... I really feel like joining a sports team and getting back into basketball or netball, but I don't want to wait too long to have another baby so I don't want to commit to a team and then have to pull out. Am thinking of calling an old friend whose team I used to sub for when they were down a few players. It feels good! :)

Not eating after 7 continues to be my quetzal feather, sigh.

And yesterday I wore a cute skirt from YSA to church, with a little cardigan which totally buttoned up without me popping out of it!!! :D

9 weeks to go!!!


PS: It turns out James thinks this fitness challenge is actually being detrimental to him - he's only working out 5 days a week instead of 6, he's not eating junk therefore not putting on as much weight as he'd like, and he's doing too much aerobic exercise and is worried that he'll keep losing weight. I hope you all feel appropriately sorry for him.

The Veto System

Last night I went out with Tammy for dinner. We're both vaguely pathetic when it comes to making decisions. This is okay though, because we have a system.

As we approached the piazza this is kind of how our conversation went last night (and most nights we hang out):

Abby: I veto the pub place.
Tammy: Okay I veto McDonalds
Abby: I veto the Mexican place - Cactus Jacks
Tammy: Huh, how come?
Abby: I don't feel like it.
Tammy: You always veto that place, interesting....I veto Sizzler - I hate that place!
Abby: I don't hate it...I veto...Addiction Cafe.
Tammy: How is that still open, does anyone eat there?!
Abby: I went there with friends once...of course I ate before I went...I bet James'd love it, he likes Asian food...
Tammy: Okay I veto the food court. The entire food court.
Abby: It's not even open!
Tammy: Well I veto it!
Abby: That's dumb
Tammy: I veto the foodbar at the bowling alley
Abby: I veto both chicken places.
Tammy: You can't veto two at once! Wait one of them's not a chicken place - I think it's Italian!
Abby: But we love Italian! How come we've never eaten there??
Tammy: I don't know - let's go walk past it. But I am not committing!
Abby: No way we're eating there on the night of our first walk-by - what if we don't like it!
Tammy: I veto Zarraffas.
Abby: Too late - you already did
Tammy: No I didn't!
Abby: Yes, but when you vetoed the foodcourt and it didn't count, I decided to transfer your veto to Zarraffas.
Tammy: But I transfered it to the bowling alley. Your veto.
Abby: Well, we just have Hog's Breath, the Coffee Club and La Porchetta left - I veto Hogs Breath.
Tammy: How come you don't like Hogs Breath? We never eat there!
Abby: I do like it, I love it when I'm pregnant! I just don't feel like it at the moment.
Tammy: Okay, I veto La Porchetta
Abby: Coffee Club it is!
Tammy: Thankgoodness for the veto system!
Abby: I know - we could never make a decision before it!

Later, at the Coffee Club...

Abby: I veto the breakfast page...and the drinks page...and the kids club/dessert page.
Tammy: I veto the alcoholic beverages
Abby: I veto...the pastas, and the two steaks in the mains menu... and do we need an entree?
Tammy: No
Abby: Okay, vetoing the entrees...and the salads section
Tammy: Wait! What if I want a salad?! Are you vetoing for me too??
Abby: You can do your own vetoing if you want..??
Tammy: Okay...I veto...
etc. etc.

And that's how we roll.

Fitness Challenge: Week 2

So I started off this week feeling aMAzing! On Monday when I did my 'unassisted squats' (ie. not the ones with my back pressed up against the wall - fancy term I know - I have trouble keeping up myself! :P), instead of feeling like an underqualified bowl of jelly wobbling my way up and down in agony and helplessness on the verge of collapse, I actually felt muscles doing what they're apparently meant to do, lifting me up and down, and I had a brief glimpse of why superfit people with muscles don't hate exercising!!

I even told James about it!

BIG mistake!!

Apparently, if it's not hard, it's not working. That's what James says. What he means is, if you don't feel like a hopeless mess who's on the verge of collapse, you're not working.

(sigh)

By Saturday's routine I was actually sobbing between sets.

YOU try squatting with 15kgs! (If you do this all the time, I don't want to hear about it.)

After picking the weight up I put it back down and started laughing - I really thought it was a joke. James looked at me like I was a little left of center and assured me he wasn't joking. I realised he was serious and tightened my position - "No James, I literally, can't do that! I can barely pick them up, let alone lift them as part of an exercise!". James then looked at me very seriously (but still like I was a crazy person) and promised me I could do it. He wasn't budging! I tried to reassure him again but he remarked with a little irritation that I just needed to stop 'sooking'. I think that's when I lost it - I wasn't sooking, I was serious!! So James said 'Okay, do whatever you want then' and walked away (to go and do the dishes - isn't he great? lol) leaving me to it. So I channelled my immense anger at his overconfidence and the 'sooking' remark into sobbing through 4 sets of squats, lunges, pull-ups and some arm thing that absolutely killed with the horrible impossible weights wobbling at the ends of my pathetically weak arms!

I then began my tread-milling with a vengeance, but sadly my heart rate was high from the crazy weights and I had to walk a ridiculously slow 0.8k/hr till it calmed down. It was like trying to make a dramatic exit and closing your dress in the door behind you or something - a little bit pathetic. It did calm me down eventually though, enough to apologise to James for getting upset when he was trying to help me. I did point out in my apology that he was pretty hard on me though! James: Hard on you?! You did 4 sets, completely unassisted! I was being easy on you, you just need to stop sooking and do it! (sigh). We are definitely from different planets lol.

BUT guess what ?! I am 2kg's down!!! Only 6ish to go!! And I look better and feel better and fit clothes better!!! :)

No matter how much I complain to him when I feel like he's giving me impossible tasks, I am so grateful that James is helping and supporting me so much, and watching the girls to give me time to work out!! I'm going to have to stop trying to tell him things are too hard because he said he doesn't want to have to argue with me every day and may stop helping me if I keep 'sooking' (hmph!). James assures me building the weight won't make me look too muscled, just help me be fit and strong, so I'll try really hard.

This week some friends came over for dinner and I made chocolate profiteroles for dessert for my one treat for the week and I've got to say - having one fabulous treat a week instead of lots of everyday treats may even be worth the wait! And the weight! :)

2 weeks of this crazy fit lifestyle down, 10 to go - unless I become bodywashed and have to keep it up! I wonder :)

PS: I'm sooo winning this - I get like, 500 bonus points for every kg I lose! Our children are going to be sooo impressed by my name on that trophy ;)

Oh, and By the Way...

Did I ever mention I got that fabulous nappy bag? In the tan. I love it. Everything has it's own spot and I never lose anything in it. It is plenty big enough without being gigantic, and it looks amazing. James loves it because it's practical and doesn't look too girly. I just love everything about it. Thankfully internet buying ninja Bec was able to find it for me for only $330 on a website including postage (thankyou!!) and Mum helped me out in getting it (thankyou!!) :) I am soooo glad I got it :) It really is fabulous :) And it has that nice smell, mmm :)

Fitness Challenge: Week 1

SO I really am very motivated to lose weight right now. I don't want this whole getting fat when pregnant thing to accelerate till I'm just fat all the time, so I really want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight quickly before I get pregnant again!! With Ana I put on WAY less weight than I did with Maggie, but I was already too fat, and I've been eating too much post-labour and putting it back on! :P I know, I know, it's not like I'm huge, I look fine, 'like a mother', bla bla bla, but regardless of all the lovely things people say and think, I don't feel good at this weight, and I would really like to fit back into that cute pre-pregnancy wardrobe sitting in a box in my cupboard (sigh). Oh, not to mention be healthy and strong! :)

Enter our Family Fitness Challenge! Back in 2007 my family did a fitness challenge and it was really fun, and some members of my family are re-doing it at the moment, and James and I decided to do our own :)

My goal is to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes at my pre-pregnancy weight before we head down to Adelaide for my Aunty Leah's wedding (yay!!!) near the end of September, and James wants to put ON at least 6kg's lol - I could TOTALLY do that! :)

Each day I need to get up by 7:30am (It should be earlier but I get a late mark until night feeds stop, yay!), eat no junk food (with the exception of 1 treat per week - please, I'm only human!), drink at least 2.5L of water, do my weights training that Mr PT James oversees with authority Mon-Wed and Fri-Sat as well as at least 1/2hr Heart Rate pace on my beautiful treadmill (I almost feel guilty for how much I'd prefer to run inside on my treadmill than 'enjoy nature', but I detest running outside and I LOVE my treadmill :) I enjoy nature a lot more while sitting amongst it...), not eat after 7pm (this one's hard to keep - I'm always breaking it by accident - not by late night fat snacks in bed, but just by like, living, and every dinner being held at 7pm), say personal morning & evening prayers and do personal scripture study daily (getting our spiritual fitness up also :)).

Of course there are points and a winner - plus we both get prizes if we reach our goals. It's a little bit lame how much more motivated I am by points than by getting healthy and slim, but it really works for me! - I seem to be able to easily say 'no' to chocolate, and haven't missed a workout!!

Sunday marked the end of 'Week 1' of our 12 week challenge.

I lost....(drumroll)............. ZERO KILOS!!!!!

(sigh)

But my fat seems to have gone down, so apparently the weight is the fat turned into muscles. That's all very well and good - it would be fun to have some little muscles for a change, and in fact when I tense my arms right now, something actually happens - one bit lifts and there's an itty bitty bit of definition checking itself out down there, but I would also at some stage like to lose this weight?! I complained to James and he told me to stop eating so much bread, which I may or may not have replaced junk food with - I really like bread. So this week I'll cut down on carbs too (sigh). I do feel pretty great though, and I do actually fit a couple of things better, so maybe I'll be able to fit some of my clothes even if I have bulging muscles stopping the actual weight loss thing from happening - it's hard being this strong!!

Wish me luck in week 2!!! :)

PS: I reckon I may be able to kick James' buttocks and get the trophy (yes, we're actually having a trophy lol) - it turns out it's hard to consume 3500 calories a day like he has to, without losing his 'no junk food' points - ha! :)

xo

Up and Back Again!!! And a new Personal Best :)

I did it! I gave birth, again. Last time I gave birth I wrote about how I felt like I'd conquered Mt. Everest, because childbirth has terrified me my whole life - sooo not keen on pain! :P Now I feel like I've done it twice. It's the most incredible thing to go through, but the view from the top totally rocks!! (as in, the baby you give birth to..).

I really dislike reading other people's 'birth stories' because they are not pleasant and they freak me out and are often way too detailed. Maybe I won't mind after I've given birth for the last time, but while I know I've got several ahead of me, they're like horror stories that could quite possibly happen to me, so I'd rather not entertain thinking about them. If you're anything like me in this regard, stop reading now! (Although this was a pretty awesome labour...) I'm probably not going to read back on this too often, but I found with Maggie that when I wrote out my labour experience in my journal, it was like therapy, and then I didn't have to think about it anymore, but typing's faster, and I'm going to write about what happened, here.

***TO SKIP THE BIRTH PART AND JUST GET TO THE BABY BIT, STOP READING NOW, AND FIND ANOTHER BIT LIKE THIS FURTHER DOWN!!***

So at 32 weeks I was sent to get a growth scan because the doctor wasn't sure the baby was as big as she 'should be'. When I got the scan, they said she was in the 3rd percentile for size, and was about 2 weeks behind in growth. At 20 weeks she had been kind of average, so they decided to do weekly scans and make sure baby was still growing. By 36 weeks (going to the hospital twice a week for scans and appointments) she had reached the 19th percentile in size, so they stopped scanning me, although I still had weekly doctors appointments at the hospital. They decided to do a final scan just before my due date, because if she was still small they didn't want me to go too far past my due date without being induced.

I was due on Monday 9th May, and on Friday 6th I went in for my scan. James had been to I think every appointment until that one, but he had a prac lead-in day, so he didn't make it. In the scan I noticed that baby was measuring about 35 weeks, and then when I saw the doctor and he graphed her growth, he looked alarmed, and said she'd barely grown since the previous scans, and that he wanted to induce me as soon as possible. He went to check with 'the bosses' when they could book me in, and I sat there freaking out and thinking how much I wished James had come with me!! When the doctor came back he booked me to come in on the Sunday night, to be induced then/Monday morning. He told me all about being induced and then sent me on my freaking out little way.

It was kind of good in one sense being booked in, because James was starting his big teaching prac on Monday 9th, my due date, so at least he could tell the school for sure which days he needed off, instead of being on call for the first part of his prac, which may have been distracting.

I spend the weekend freaking out, then on Sunday night James gave me a blessing, we dropped our precious Maggie girl at Mum and Dad's for her first ever sleepover (she loved it of course!), and headed up to the hospital.

They began inducing me Sunday night with the gel, which some women go into labour from, but I didn't (I couldn't stop shaking all night I was so scared - my labour with Maggie was a little tiny bit awful and long, and just sitting there waiting for it to 'kick in' was terrifying for me!). Just after 6am they took me into the birthing suite, and broke my waters. By 7:30am I was starting to have some real contractions, and at 7:50 they started me on 'Synto' which is a hormone I think, which makes your body really go into labour. At least it did with me! The midwife started me on a dose of 3ml/hr, then went up to 6ml/hr at 8:20, then turned it off completely at 9:05 because my contractions were going insane. He said though, that he had a lady at 72ml/hr the other day, so those were pretty low doses. Apparently each labour, you need less, because your body makes more, so if I ever get induced again, I'll ask for none!! :)

Anyway, I don't know what time, and I can't remember whether or not I already had the Synto in me, we were sitting there having a nice old chat with the midwife. I had just found out I was 4cm dilated and was ecstatic, because with Maggie it took me 2 days of waaaaaay worse contractions than I was having to get me to 4cm, and I was totally handling it, thinking 'Heck! I won't need any drugs if this keeps up!'.

[Side story: We actually noticed the midwife's surname was Allred, and he had a pretty religious first name too, and he was from America (everyone from America seems like a church member... plus he was clean cut and wearing a wedding ring lol), so we asked him if he was any relation to Sylvia Allred. He leaned back and said 'Noooooo.. but I enjoyed her last talk at General Conference' lol. So we asked what ward he was in, and he's in the next Stake over, and we told him our ward and he mentioned he was the Stake Executive Secretary in his stake, so he had wondered how we were members whose names he didn't know cause he knows most of the names in his Stake, and then James said 'Hey Abby's uncle is Stake President of that stake' and I clicked, and it turns out he works with my uncle a lot, and he said he actually met Dad the other day, and I had a moment of 'Oh no, I could see this guy again one day and I have to give birth in front of him! And it's a him!' but don't worry - by the time I was giving birth I was dying so much I didn't care, plus he was an awesome midwife, so it was great, and just nice to know he knew where we were coming from a bit. And he was totally not weird. Plus he was like a buddy for James - they enjoyed laughing at me together when I got really high on the gas..]

ANYWAY, so there we are having our chat, and he was asking about my previous labour, and he asked at what stage of the labour I had the drugs (I had a lot of everything), and I told him how long I'd been in labour and yadiyada. The contractions were getting worse quickly, and then I went to the bathroom, and I had 4 death to the world contractions, and came out begging for the epidural.

At this point I kind of felt like I'd failed, because I needed it already - it had come on soooo fast!! But the midwife was like 'I'll send for it right away, it's okay Abby we're all about helping you with the pain here!' but I kept apologising but begging for it too lol. They put me on the gas right away while I was waiting. I didn't like the gas at all when I was in labour with Maggie, but the epidural this time seemed to be taking ages, and my contractions were going nuts and I was sitting on the edge of the bed ready for when the epidural came, and I heard Israel say 'Take a deep breath now, Abby... and another... and another', and it was like a little thing I could concentrate on, so I suddenly got super high, and clung to the gas like crazy. Apparently I was saying a lot of pretty crazy things to everyone in the room. The midwife said 'Do you know what planet you're on, Abby?' and I remember thinking 'Is he stupid?' So I told him I was on Earth, duh.

A doctor came to tell me risks or whatever and I told him in no uncertain terms that I wanted it, no matter what, now. Then finally (after lots of desperate begging on my part, - they had to call him twice) the anaesthetist came but it seemed to be taking forever for him to get ready. My room was being renovated, and a couple of things he needed were missing and they had to send down to the pharmacy for something, and then it seemed to take forever for him to put it in! So I was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to hold still, while I was going through awful contractions, and I kept thinking surely it would be the last contraction I'd feel! The epidural with Maggie seemed to take 2 seconds - it was all done between 2 contractions I think, so this was agony!! I was dying. And James said I was very blunt, and kept calling out 'Epi Man! What's the problem?!! Why can I still feel everything! I can still feel everything, please hurry up Epi Man, please hurry up, hurry up!!' Which probably didn't help the poor guy!! :S When he first arrived I told him I loved him though. I also, in my very high state, told one of the midwifes who came while my midwife was on a break and was telling me to 'breathe' to 'Shush!!', I told the other two that I liked them a lot. I told them I loved Maggie and the baby, but 'James the most!', and apparently I got very protective of the gas and wouldn't let anyone touch it even though I kept declaring I hated it and couldn't imagine why people got high because I felt awful and like I was going to be sick. Apparently I also made James hold my feet, and then kept kicking him in the face during contractions and a bunch of other weird stuff.

Anyway, when the guy finally got the epidural in my back (second time lucky apparently - he put it in once and it wasn't right so he did it again, eek! And I was having crazy contractions so I was moving a tiny bit, as hard as I was trying not to, I feel so blessed I had no bad effects!!), they all helped me turn so they could hook it up to the machine, and then the head midwife lady (who James thinks our midwife called because he was worried I was going to get paralysed by the epidural guy) said to our midwife 'She's pushing!!' and then they ran around and threw a couple of things to each other and the head was out, and then they said to push, and I could hear James saying the head was out, and I said 'Are you sure?! Am I dilated?' and they said 'Yes, push!' and then the whole baby was suddenly out!!!! (I gotta say, 3 and a half hours, even without the epidural, TOTALLY rocks compared to 3 days with all the drugs!! Posterior babies are awful to give birth to, I'm going to be a crazy sit forward person every pregnancy from now on)

And then they put her on my chest and I burst into tears and for the next 5 minutes I kept saying "Oh I love her so much! Where's the epidural?! She's so beautiful, but I can still feel everything! Where's the epidural!!" and I think it took a few minutes for the gas to get out of my system and for me to get over the fact that the epidural never got hooked up, and to realise that my wonderful, perfect, beautiful daughter was really there, all born, finished!!! Also, the horrible pain was gone, because I was no longer in labour lol.

***YOU CAN START READING NOW, I'VE HAD THE BABY...***

She was born at 10:52am, and we named her Anamaria Sophia. We named her Anamaria because James wanted a Maori name, and I don't know the language or anything, but most of the names were difficult to pronounce, and I didn't want her to have to repeat it for everyone a million times her whole life, I wanted people to be able to say it. Anyway, the name is used by Maoris, and it's the exotic pronounciation, although already most people call her Anna instead of Ana, which I guess she'll get her whole life after all :P And Sophia is James' Mum's name. Everyone thinks we're into Spanish names lol! :) But there it is.

Ana was 6 pounds 13 (only half an ounce less than Maggie - so not underweight!) and healthy and strong. I remember James crying out to me "She's crying right away! Abby, she's crying!!" which is exciting because Maggie had to be resuscitated, so it was awesome that she was all good :) Her head circumference was 34cm, and she was 49cm long (2 and a half shorter than Maggie). Although Ana's not as startlingly like James, she looks a lot like Maggie, so we think people will definitely be able to tell that they're sisters, lucky because I think they're both beautiful :)

I don't usually put photos on this blog (I can invite you to my private blog for further viewing if you let me know!! I will soon be flooding it with Ana pictures :)), but here's our new little family:

We were so fortunate in our midwife! At the end he even pulled a few strings to let us stay in the birth suite for an extra hour so Mum could bring Maggie up to meet her little sister, because visiting hours in the wards were over. Maggie was wonderful, and she adored Ana from the start. She's uber over-protective, and the first one to make a move if Ana starts crying! The only problem is that Ana needs to be subtlety rescued from being completely smothered quite often, because Maggie just wants to lie with/on her and cuddle and kiss her.

I can't even tell you how happy we are to have little Ana join our family - we really, really love her :) How awesome is having a family?!! :)

I'm worried this entry is jumbled and I may come back and edit it later but I just wanted to finally get it up. We are so happy and we love our little baby girls so much!! :)

Maybe just a dream... (sigh)

Have you ever really, really, really, really wanted something super, uber expensive, even though you could probably pick up a much less desirable, much less good quality, much less useful but probably 'okay' one for like, $400 less, or free?

(sigh..)

But you really, really, really want the $420 version (sigh).

Oh, and you're not rich.

But you're okay, and you could sort of manage to get it, but it would mean obviously cutting out other things that may be a lot more important.. (sigh).

But it's a really good one, and will last forever, and goodness knows you'll use it!!

I want a Storksak Elizabeth (sigh)...

If you've ever been really nappy bag shopping, you'll know what I'm talking about. The rest of you will just think I'm a bit obsessed with an over-expensive handbag.

With Maggie we had a big, very cute bag to be a nappy bag, but our plan is to pop out a bunch more children over the next 10 years or so, and I want a nice nappy bag, that can double as my handbag, that's got all the pockets so I have a place for all of the nappy stuff and never lose anything in it like I did all the time with our other bag, that can go over the bars of our pram so I can stop shoving it in the bottom tray.

I have done a lot of research, and the bag that continues to pop up in my searches is the Storksak Elizabeth.

It comes in many colours, but my favourites are..

The chocolate brown:


tan:


Or 'Lizard'.



The chocolate is on sale on one website for $350, so I was definitely leaning towards it. I can't find the tan any cheaper than $420. The lizard is their latest, and RRP's for $470, so I was not even interested in it, but I found a brand new one on ebay last week that goes off this Wednesday night, that's $265 at the moment, so it went on my shortlist.

They're all leather, apparently they last forever and age beautifully, and all the reviews say they LOVE that they never lose anything in it - awesome :) AND that they look like a handbag :)

Mum's always bought me beautiful, good quality handbags growing up, maybe I'm just spoilt in the handbag department, but I kind of miss it.

James thinks I should go for it and buy one already, and I find myself thinking 'Yeah! It'll be totally useful, it's awesome!! But then I get a strong guilt complex thinking about spending hundreds of dollars on a bag (hard to imagine lol).

Anyway, I just thought I'd share my woes with the world/the maybe 2 and a half people who ever look at this blog.

(sigh)